


Mirrors

by Elise_Madrid



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-19
Updated: 2011-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-19 14:31:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elise_Madrid/pseuds/Elise_Madrid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on shoreleave on Vulcan, Kirk and Spock must deal with a Vulcan tribe who rejected Surak's precepts of logic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in First Time 54, by Merry Men Press.

Captain’s Personal Log: Stardate 6055.1

The ship is in orbit above Vulcan, where I and my science officer will spend the next three weeks. I accepted Spock’s invitation to accompany him on shore leave, with some trepidation. I fear I am losing my friend and I don’t know why. Over the last few months, he has begun to avoid me. Our days of shared meals and chess games are a thing of the past. Though I hope to discover the reason behind his withdrawal from me, and a way to bring it to an end, I begin to suspect that only sorrow awaits me on the planet below.

First Officer’s Personal Log: Stardate 6055.1

We are in standard orbit above Vulcan. My captain has accepted my invitation to spend time on my home world, unaware that it will be, in all probability, our final time together. I am unable to continue the charade in which I now live, and have decided my only course of action is to confess to him what I have discovered within myself. I only hope that he can forgive me, and will understand why I can no longer remain on the ship. Logic has failed me, and I am lost

^^^^^

.

They materialized outside the imposing structure of Spock’s childhood home. Kirk had always found its dark interior a bit depressing, as if the need to keep out heat had also made it necessary to restrict light. Spock quietly led them to the door, opening it and entering as if he had only left that morning, rather than months ago. No one came forth out of the gloom, the house still and empty. On the large table in the middle of the foyer there lay a small envelope with Spock’s name hand written across it.

“It is my mother’s handwriting.” Spock glanced at his captain before opening the note. He scanned it briefly, a small frown appearing over his brow. “My father has been called away. There is a problem between the two warring factions whose planet has asked for Federation membership. He and my mother will be gone for at least five standard weeks.”

“Is that going to be a problem?” Kirk looked around, wondering why the thought of spending all that time alone with Spock, here in this mausoleum of a house, was so distressing. Maybe because it seemed to match so well the nature of their current relationship. Dark, empty.

“No, my parents knew that we would both be here and the length of our stay. I am sure that provisions were made for our visit. Because of my father’s position, my mother has become quite adept at making new arrangements at a moment’s notice.” He picked up the large valise he had brought. “Come. I will show you to your room. You will no doubt wish to unpack and refresh yourself.”

Kirk grabbed his own suitcase, following his friend into the recesses of the house. He was led to the same room he had used on their last visit, directly across the hall from Spock’s. It had been recently aired out, and fresh linen and a vase of brightly colored flowers helped lift the somber atmosphere pervading the rest of the house. He placed his luggage on the bench at the foot of the bed, looking around and trying not to show how nervous he was. “This is nice. I think I’ll unpack and change into something cooler. Give me about thirty minutes, okay?”

Spock merely nodded and started toward the door.

“Spock?”

“Yes, Captain?” Spock stopped, in the process of closing the double doors of the room.

“Um, where will you be?”

“I too, plan to change, after which I shall be in the kitchen. It is almost fourteen hundred hours and I thought perhaps you would wish to eat at this time.”

“That sounds great. I’ll meet you there.” Kirk begin unpacking as the doors were closed, but then turned and sat dejectedly on the bed. What the hell was he going to do for three weeks with someone who would barely talk to him? He had hoped to get some kind of advice from Amanda, perhaps the two of them could figure out what was going on with her son. But now it looked like he was on his own. Somehow, he was going to have to find a way to break down the walls Spock had so effectively built between them. He got up, grabbed his robe and headed for the bathroom. A shower before going into battle sounded good.

^^^^^

Spock already had the beginnings of lunch prepared when Kirk made his way into the spacious kitchen. The windows were uncovered, allowing light to filter in from outside, dispersing the darkness of the house. It helped. Kirk leaned against the counter and watched as his friend cut up an assortment of vegetables, Spock turning every so often to monitor the noodles cooking on the stove behind him.

“Can I help with anything?” Kirk grabbed a piece of broccoli and popped it in his mouth.

“You may set out the dinnerware, if you wish. They are in the large cabinet directly behind you.”

Spock hadn’t even looked up, and Kirk felt anger start to build. He hated this, hated the way things had changed between them. He turned and began collecting the things they needed, slamming the cabinet drawers and doors as he went along. When he turned back to the counter, he was stopped short by the look of devastating sorrow on Spock’s face. Perhaps no other would have noticed, but time had given him a gift, and he had been at first surprised, and then pleased, to discover that he could see so much more on that austere face than anyone else.

“Spock?” He walked over, placing the dishes and utensils down and standing next to the Vulcan. “What is it? What the hell is going on?”

Spock’s head went down, his voice pitched low with emotion. “I...I cannot tell you, I cannot.”

Kirk took the knife from his friend’s hand and steered him to the dining table, sitting him down. “Wait here.” He quickly turned off the heat on the stove, returning to sit next to Spock, pulling his chair up so that they were only inches apart, almost touching. “Okay, tell me. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I cannot.” Spock looked away, a look of defeat heavy on him. “I am a coward.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known. Come on, it can’t be that bad, can it?”

The Vulcan finally turned, studying the human for a moment. “Jim, it is so much worse.”

Jim. That was a start, at least. Kirk couldn’t remember the last time Spock had used his given name. “Do you think I’ll get mad, or something? I won’t. I promise. Whatever it is, I promise not to get upset. I just want my friend back, Spock. I’ve really missed him.”

“As I have missed you, t’hy’la.” He hesitantly lifted his hand, as if to caress Kirk’s face. But at the last moment he brought his hands down into his lap and clasped them tightly together.

“I’m glad to hear that. I was beginning to wonder if I’d lost you.”

“No, never that.” He quieted for a moment, a look of deep concentration on his face. Finally, he continued speaking. “There is an ancient ruin at the edge of the Great desert. It is said to have been a fortress for the warrior band that ruled the area before the time of Surak. I wish to take you there.”

“What’s that got to do with what’s going on between us? Spock, you need to tell me.”

“There is something there that, perhaps, will help you to understand what it is that has caused this...this rift between us. Once you have seen it, I will tell you. Will you allow me this?”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise. We can go there in the morning. It is only a day’s travel by air car.”

Kirk brightened. “Hey, why don’t we make a camping trip out of it? Maybe stay for a day or two?” Anything to help bring them back the closeness they had lost.

“That would be acceptable. There is a great deal to see. The ruins are quite extensive.”

“Then I guess I can wait until then for your big, bad secret.” He watched his friend’s face, noticing the lessening, but not the disappearance, of the sorrow that showed so painfully there.

^^^^^

Meditation had done little good. Dawn was breaking, and he would need to complete the preparations for their journey. Spock slowly rose from the kneeling position he had held for much of the night. His mother’s garden, long his refuge in times of turmoil, had been powerless against the coming sorrow. He dusted himself off and walked quietly back into the house, returning to the chore he had so abruptly left the night before.

He had been unable to sleep, and had used the time to prepare for their journey. He had most of their supplies packed, only needing to finish gathering up what food they would require. He picked up the tin of specially ground coffee, a favorite of Kirk’s, that had sent him fleeing from the house the night before. The memories that had sprung to mind had been bittersweet, and he had been unable to bear the deep pain that had permeated through him, as he contemplated his life after...after he told his friend what he had discovered buried deep within himself.

These last four and a half years had been a journey of discovery, as his heart had been captured by the charismatic man sleeping upstairs. When had respect turned to admiration, to friendship...to love? All the years he had spent behind his walls of isolation, built to protect himself from the hurt he had endured as a child, had left him unprepared to deal with the untamed force which was Kirk. The human had forced his way into Spock’s life, brushing aside all his attempts to keep distance between them. Gradually, the walls had tumbled down, and Kirk had wasted no time in making himself at home in the Vulcan’s heart.

His life aboard the _Enterprise_ had never been the same. Eventually, he and Kirk had come to spend most of their free time together. Meals, chess games, and long conversations into the ship’s night had cemented their growing dependence on each other, until Spock had been unable to rationalize his feelings away. He _had_ no life without Kirk. Everything that had once been of importance to him now took second place to his need to be at Kirk’s side, his desire to protect and cherish the man, always.

He knew that he was important to Kirk, that his captain cared a great deal for him. But that was not the same as what he now understood was part of what drew him to the human. Until pon farr, he had been ignorant of the passion that lay quiescent beneath his controlled exterior. Afterwards, it had flamed up in a white-hot blaze, incinerating his preconceived notions of desire. He wanted Kirk, in the way that a man wanted his mate. He wanted to touch him, take him, to burn together in the fires of sexual congress.

It was then that he had remembered the murals seen in his boyhood at the great ruins. In the Hall of Warriors, his ancestors had left vivid proof of their unleashed, often violent, emotions. Wall after wall was covered with brightly colored scenes of life among the warriors. Fighting, playing, making love, they depicted a drama of two men joined body and soul in a celebration of mutual passions. It had all made sense then, the travesty that had been his link to T’Pring and his overwhelming attraction to the man he served.

It became a joy and a curse to touch the human, to feel the cool, smooth texture gliding below his hands whenever he was called for a back rub, to feel the muscled contours of Kirk’s body whenever he held him close as they worked out together. Finally, it became too much. During their last workout, he had pinned the smaller body beneath his and had felt himself becoming aroused, his engorged organ rubbing against Kirk’s as they struggled on the mat. Kirk had appeared unconcerned, as if it was as normal for Spock as it had always been for him. But Spock knew better. His controls were breaking down, and it was not outside the realm of possibility that one day he would take what he desired, no matter what his friend might want.

That day, some six months before, his course of action had been set. He would have to leave, break away from the only being who had ever fulfilled his life. And with only months left in the mission, his leaving would not create undue hardship. He began avoiding his captain, trying to tear apart the link that already bound him to the man. He knew he was hurting his friend, but better that, than to remain and allow what he feared to become reality. The human had never shown any inclination toward men as bed partners. Better that Spock leave, destroy their friendship, than stay and destroy Kirk.

He heard a door close upstairs and the steps of his captain as he made his way down. Spock shook himself out of his reverie and returned to his preparations.

^^^^^

They traveled all day, spending the night at the lodging facilities bordering the desert. They barely spoke, as if the promise Spock had made bound them to silence. Leaving the air car there, they got an early start the following morning, traveling steadily on foot for several hours. They rested through the heat of midday, then continued on after the sun had passed its zenith. Now, standing on a high plateau, Kirk looked down on a wide valley as the sun’s setting rays transformed it into a dream of red. He turned to the Vulcan behind him. “It’s beautiful, Spock.”

“It is _Ku-li t’eifa Etwel Trasha Za’._ The valley of those left behind.” Spock translated.

“Sounds poetic. What’s it mean?”

“It is the home of the Paki-Sular, the Lost People. The descendants of the only clan to reject the teachings of Surak and continue in the old ways.”

“Really? They live there? And no one bothers them?”

Spock gave a small smile. “They are left to their own devices. It would, after all, be illogical to force them into a life they do not desire.”

“So, all this time, they’ve been here? How come I’ve never heard of them?”

“It is not something Vulcan normally tends to publicize. They are considered...less.”

“Why? Because they’re not ‘logical’?”

“In a way. They have lived here, apart, for thousands of years, not accepting of the outside world. They hunt for their sustenance, and will have nothing to do with technology and the advantages it provides. Though their numbers continue to decline, they refuse any assistance.”

Kirk looked back to the expanse below. “That’s really rather sad. I wonder what they think about the rest of us, the ‘aliens’ that come to their world.”

“We are not sure if they even know you exist.”

“Can we go down there?”

“No, Jim. It is not allowed. They do not wish visitors and our government has seen fit to honor their request.”

“Too bad. It would have been ‘fascinating’.” Kirk retreated to their campsite, set back about thirty feet from the edge. Behind it was the start of the ruins they had come to explore. He sat down on one of the slabs of rock they had positioned next to the fire. Wood was scarce in the Vulcan desert, but the fuel rods they had brought would burn for many hours, keeping at bay the chill that descended as night fell.

Spock took his place across from Kirk, watching the firelight play across the human’s face. Kirk seemed to glow, radiating a fire of his own. His friend had not brought up the conversation they had had two days before, for which Spock was grateful. He hoped Kirk would forget about it, and allow them to have at least a few more days. Too soon, he would have to tell his secret, bare his heart and soul and accept the rejection he knew would be forthcoming.

He continued to gaze at the human. Kirk seemed lost in thought, and Spock gladly took the opportunity to look his fill at his soul’s other half. Why did his captain have to be perfection incarnate? From the moment Kirk had stepped off the transporter platform as he took command of the _Enterprise,_ Spock had felt the pull of this man’s charm, falling unknowingly into an orbit that inexorably drew him closer and closer in. Feelings unknown and bewildering had kept him off balance, easy prey for the consummate master of emotional response. Did Kirk have any idea of what he had created? Would it make any difference to the human that, given the nature of their relationship, it would have been almost impossible for Spock to resist? No, it was not Kirk’s fault that his science officer knew nothing of the drives that now owned him. He would do what he must. After that....

“I think I’ll turn in now. I’m not used to this much exertion.” Kirk smiled as he rose, as if aware that he had caught his friend lost in thought.

“I too, shall retire. If it will not disturb you, I wish to meditate for a time, first.”

“It doesn’t bother me, Spock. You should know that by now. Come on, morning will be here before you know it and I’d like to get an early start on those ruins.”

The tent they brought was by necessity small, making preparations for sleep difficult. Spock turned away, pretending to rearrange his bed role as Kirk undressed. The human had always appeared at ease with his body, accepting his nudity in front of the Vulcan in the same way he had accepted all other aspects of their life together. Unable to help himself, Spock's gaze slid back. The fire outside lit the tent enough so that the human’s body was bathed in its glow. Spock was mesmerized. His friend’s motions as he used the cleansing pad to wipe himself down, only served to further accentuate the muscled form. Finally, Kirk crawled into his bed role, freeing the Vulcan.

As he positioned himself for meditation, Spock realized Kirk was now watching _him_. “Captain?”

The human only looked at him, seeming to puzzle over something. Having appeared to have come to a decision, Kirk pulled his bedding tight and closed his eyes as he settled in. “Goodnight, Spock.”

^^^^^

“Let go of me! God damn it, let go!” The struggling human was pulled from the tent, two well-muscled Vulcans holding him by his arms. Next to them Spock, too, was effectively held, as both men were forced to stand, naked, in the chill night air.

“What the hell’s going on?” Kirk stopped his struggles long enough to take in the group of men that had invaded their campsite. They looked like something straight out of the Arabian Nights. Most wore loose flowing robes tied at the waist, with burmoose-type headgear almost hiding the telltale ears. A few wore pants and vests over blousing tunics, with knee-high boots made from some kind of animal skin.

The one that was obviously their leader walked up to Kirk, examining him with undisguised curiosity. “You’re not Vulcan.”

“No, I’m not. Who the hell are you?”

The two sized up each other, blue eyes staring back at hazel. The young Vulcan was about the same height as Kirk, with a similar built, though he appeared to be somewhat younger.

“I am J’han, of the Paki-Sular.” He smiled at Kirk’s obvious discomfort at his nudity. “Stavon, bring them something to wear. I wouldn’t want the Earth man to think we’re barbarians.”

Spock’s brow lifted. “You know of Earth?”

“We aren’t the children your people believe us to be.” He gave Spock a derisive look and then turned back to Kirk. “I've heard about Earth people. I always wondered...” He handed over the clothes his man had brought from the tent. “Here, put these on.”

“What are you going to do with us?” Kirk questioned as he drew on his clothes.

“Him?” He nodded at Spock. “We’ll ransom back. A prince should be worth a great deal.”

“Prince? What are you talking about?” Kirk looked at his first officer. “Spock?”

The Vulcan looked discomfit. “I believe he is referring to my status as T’Pau’s heir, Captain.”

“Captain? What is this ‘captain’?” J'han demanded.

“I’m his commanding officer, his ‘leader’.”

“You? A human, commanding a prince of Vulcan? You’ve fallen far, Prince. I don’t think your people would approve.”

“You keep saying that. ‘Your’ people. You’re both Vulcan.” Kirk stated, his temper barely in check.

J'han stepped towards him, standing inches in front of the human. “No, we’re not, as you'll soon find out.” He grabbed Kirk’s chin, their eyes meeting. “You’ll make a fine slave, Captain. Many of our men still follow the ways of the warrior.” He turned away with a laugh as Kirk’s eyes went wide with shock.

“No! You cannot do this.” Spock began to fight as he and Kirk were again grabbed, both struggling to get free as they were forced to the mounts reined nearby. Their hands were tied and then they were hoisted up, each mounted with one of their captors. “J'han, you must listen to me. He is not a man to be enslaved. J'han!”

The young Vulcan mounted and laughed at Spock’s distress. “You’re not acting like a proper Vulcan, Prince. What happened to your precious control of emotions?” He motioned to the men around him and started forward. “Come on. We have a lot to show for a night’s hunt. I think we’ve earned a day of rest.”

^^^^^

The ride to the village set against the backdrop of mountains took the rest of the night and dawn was just breaking as they entered its outskirts. The two were taken to a small dwelling obviously built to house prisoners. There was only one way in, and the door was shut behind them after they were untied and unceremoniously thrown in.

Kirk got up from where he had fallen on the floor. He lunged at the door as it closed, grabbing at the bars set across the small opening. “I demand to talk to your leader.”

J'han stood relaxed on the other side, his arms crossed. Aa smile played across his face. “You’re in no position to demand anything. If I were you, I’d rest now. I’ve already had several offers for you.” He casually walked away, laughing as he joined the group of men waiting for him. “See you later, Captain.”

“Captain, I would do as he suggests. Until one of us is able to communicate with whoever is in charge, there is nothing to be done but wait.” Spock sat on one of the small beds, his back against the wall.

Kirk began pacing, his outrage keeping him in motion, the need to do something overpowering his need for rest. “I can’t. I’ve got to figure out how to get us out of this mess. There must be something we can do, something we can say to make them let us go.”

“I think not. Jim, do not mistake these people for simple tribesmen. Though they appear to reject technology, they are obviously knowledgeable of events on the rest of Vulcan. I noticed that not just J'han understood what we were saying. They know standard, which means that they have somehow monitored the outside world. Add to that the fact the J'han knew of Earth...”

“There’s more going on here than there should be, right?” Kirk came over and sat next to his friend. “Do you think that maybe they’ve been ‘cheating’? Pretending to not want what the rest of Vulcan has, while all the time secretly using whatever they can?”

Spock steepled his fingers, his arms resting on his knees, comfortably falling into the role of science officer. “Highly likely. Which makes it difficult to understand how J'han plans to keep you here. Surely he must realize that you would be missed and that once I was ransomed, I would fight for your release as well. Unless...”

“Unless, what?” Kirk eyed his friend, warily.

“In ancient times, when a warrior would take a male slave as a...companion, a mental link would be created. One which made escape impossible.”

“Why? Why impossible?”

“After the link was formed, the slave would no longer be drawn to any other. He would desire only his master. To leave would be unthinkable.”

Kirk, momentarily stunned speechless, could only stare at his friend. Finally, he found his voice. “They would do that...to me?”

Spock lowered his head. “I do not know, Captain.”

The human jumped up, returning to his pacing. “Well, we better think of something fast! I don’t plan to spend the rest of my life as some Vulcan warrior’s bed warmer.”

“Jim...”

“No, Spock. I mean it! I’m not staying here. Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, whatever we have to do, to make sure that...that doesn’t happen. I can’t, _I won’t,_ live like that.”

Spock leaned his head back to rest against the wall behind him, closing his eyes. Either way, whether they made it out of here or not, he had received his answer. The idea of being with another male was obviously so repugnant to Kirk, that he would rather die than submit to it. “Very well, Captain. I will do whatever you wish me to do.”

^^^^^

“J'han, what have you done?” The tall, fair-haired Vulcan, stared at the younger man, exasperation and annoyance fighting with concern.

J'han quirked his lips, shyly looking up at his older brother from his seat. They were so different, in looks and in temperament. But no one meant more to him, no one whose opinion he valued as much. Even their father’s. “It’ll be okay, Skott. The human will bring a fair price, and the prince...he’ll be so glad to get out of here and back to his decadent life-style, he won’t even know the man’s gone.”

Skott came around and pulled up a chair next to his brother. They were in the kitchen of the spacious home they shared with their father, the leader of their people. “You don’t know that. What if the man is important to him? You said he called him ‘captain’. In their world, that means that the man has power, is important in his own right.”

“I don’t care. I’ve already promised him to one of the men, and once the link is created he won’t want to leave. Besides, if we keep him with the prince, there’ll be trouble. I can tell.” J'han stared at his brother. “Don’t you see? We can ask for anything we want, and they’ll give it to us. The prince is our people’s way out.”

Skott sighed, affectionately ruffling his brother’s hair. “Little brother, I know what you’re trying to do but you’re not thinking straight.”

“Why not? Would it be so hard for you to finally get what you want?”

Skott rose, walked away from the table to stand near the open doorway, and looked out at the slowly lightening sky. “It can never be, J'han. Even if by some miracle we pulled this off. Our father is depending on me to carry on after him. I won’t disappoint him...for anything.”

J'han came over, resting a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “It doesn’t have to be one or the other. At least think about the possibility.”

Skott remained silent for a moment, obviously weighing his decision before speaking. “Very well. Until our father returns I am responsible for what is done. Give the prisoners the day to rest. Before the evening meal, bring them here. I can’t promise you anything but...we will see."

^^^^^

Kirk woke with a start, disoriented. He sat up and pushed aside the blanket draped across his body. Looking around, he could see sunlight streaming in through the door window. Spock sat in the same spot, his bedding still neatly made, a sure sign that the Vulcan had not slept. Nothing had been resolved. After the coerced promise, Spock had pulled back into himself, refusing to speak further.

Girdling himself for a fight, Kirk walked over and sat next to his rigidly suppressed friend. “Didn’t you sleep at all?”

“No.” Spock didn’t even turn his head but continued to stare at the wall across from them.

“Come on, Spock. Talk to me.”

“There is nothing left to say. You have stated that death is preferable to life with another male...”

“That’s not what I said.” Kirk responded, indignantly.

Spock turned to him then, angry and hurt. “Is it not? ‘Whatever I have to do to make sure that that doesn’t happen. I won’t, I can’t, live like that’ is, I believe, a direct quote.”

“But I didn’t mean because I’d have to be with a male. I meant because I’d be a slave, because I’d never be able to leave here.” Kirk’s toned softened at the look of confusion on the Vulcan’s face. “Is that what hurt you so badly? Because you thought I would rather die than be with a man? Why, Spock? Why would it matter so much? Tell me.”

The Vulcan gazed silently at his friend. This was not the way he had envisioned telling him of his feelings but it could very well be the last opportunity he would ever have to do so. He straightened, pulling slightly away. “Very well. It is something I have long wished to tell you but out of fear...I hid it from you, instead.” He cleared his throat and swallowed nervously. “For some time now I have felt...a change in the way I perceive myself, in what I believe myself to be.”

“Change? In a good way or a bad way?”

Spock shook his head. “That is something only you can say. After my link to T’Pring was severed, I realized that there was a reason for her reaction to me, a reason why she would not wish to be bonded to me.” He looked down, unable to meet the trusting eyes of his friend. “She did not wish to be with a male who desired...another way.”

“Another way? What other way?” Kirk’s voice took on an odd quality, an edge that Spock had never heard before.

“To follow in the way of the ancient warriors of Vulcan. To join my life, my soul, to another such as I. For all time, to be with the one I desire above all others.”

“You’re not talking about a woman, are you? It’s not a woman you want, is it?”

“I desire...another. Oh, Jim. I am so sorry.”

“Who? Who do you desire?” Kirk grabbed the Vulcan’s shoulders, shaking him.

A hoarse whisper was all he could manage. “You. I desire you.”

Kirk’s hands dropped away and only silence answered the Vulcan’s declaration. A slight tremor stirred through Spock’s body as he looked up and saw the tightly pressed lips and closed eyes of his friend. “Jim?”

Slowly the human’s eyes opened and a smile of unimagined joy lit his face. “What makes you think I don’t feel the exact same way?”

“I...I do not...”

Kirk’s smile broadened as he slid closer to the Vulcan, taking his friend in a tight embrace. “I love you. I can’t say it any plainer than that. Or maybe I can.” He brought his hand up to cradle Spock’s neck, pulling his head down for a gentle kiss. He held him there, softly pressing his lips to his friend’s for a few seconds before pulling away. “I love you. I want to make love with you. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up next to you every morning for the rest of our lives.” He brought his other hand up and softly ran slightly trembling fingers down the Vulcan’s cheek. “Do you think that would be okay?”

Spock hesitantly copied the motion, as if to convince himself that this was not all some kind of dream, a cruel trick by his mind to hide from the reality of losing this man. Slowly, belief grew, and with it came an overwhelming gratitude for what he had been given. He gathered the smaller man closer, burying his face in the sweet hollow of the human’s neck, taking in the scent of him, the solid feel of him in his arms. “I have hungered for you, wanting you as part of myself for so long. That I could have this...”

“I take it that means yes?” Kirk teased. He pushed back and looked up into Spock’s face. The hunger there brought an instant reaction from his body and he pulled the Vulcan back into his arms, taking his mouth with his.

They kissed hungrily, frantically moving closer, each caressing the other as they removed their clothes to be left in a jumbled pile on the cell floor. Stretched out on the small bed, the two men held each other, mouths locked together as hands explored the unmapped contours of each others’ naked bodies.

Spock couldn’t get enough of the human’s taste, his mouth moving from Kirk’s down the strong neck, leaving a trail of burning kisses as he made his way to the smooth chest. He sucked in a nipple, his tongue flicking back and forth across it, bringing moans of pleasure from the writhing body. His fingers danced over chest and belly, skimming over the soft skin of thighs and hips, before settling on the rigid cock nestled in the golden thatch at Kirk’s groin.

Wrapping his fingers around the human’s straining organ, he gently squeezed, his thumb running over the cap, one finger working at the slit, Kirk’s hips slowly pistoning. Spock pulled his mouth away from the rigid nipple and returned to the sweet taste of his lover’s mouth, his tongue dueling with its counterpart.

Kirk pulled at him, urging him on top as Spock’s hands came up to entangle in the honey-colored hair. The human’s legs parted, trying to bring their bodies closer, his hands all over his lover. Breaking the kiss, he brought his mouth over to bite and suck at the Vulcan’s throat.

“Jim, please. I need..” Spock panted, his arousal growing with the reality of the cool body under his, Kirk’s hands on his ass pulling them together. He could feel the human’s cock, thick and heavy against his own, as their hips ground together.

“What do you need? Me? Do you need me?” Kirk gasped. “Take me. Make us one, Spock. Make it so no one can part us, ever.”

Make us one. The words rang like a song of forever in the Vulcan’s mind. He slowly rose to his knees between Kirk’s thighs, and bringing his head down, drew the human’s cock into his mouth, his tongue working along the shaft as he sucked.

“Spock. Oh, Spock.” Kirk silently repeated his lover’s name over and over, lifting his hips to drive his cock deeper into the heated wetness, the saliva running down, wetting his buttocks.

The Vulcan shifted his mouth down, gliding his tongue over and around Kirk’s balls, pushing the human’s thighs wider apart to reach the puckered hole below. He sucked along the inner thigh, nipping at the tender skin while his fingers teased at the opening. He felt hands pulling at him, and he looked up to see blatant need on the aroused human’s face.

“I want you. I want you inside of me.” Kirk’s voice was thick with desire. He pulled his legs up to rest against his chest, exposing himself fully to his lover.

“I have dreamt of this. On the _Enterprise._ I have dreamt of making you my own.”

“Do it, Do it now.” Kirk moaned softly as Spock’s finger insinuated itself into his rectum, stretching him as it slid in and out, joined by one, and then two more. He rocked back onto the invading digits. “God, that feels good.”

“Then this should feel even better.” Spock whispered as he withdrew his fingers. He rose and leaned over his lover, resting one hand above Kirk's shoulder, while using the other to position his cock against the human’s anus. Then, ever so slowly, he pushed forward, his shaft sinking into the slick moistness.

Kirk panted harshly as he was filled, his eyes going wide as he watched his lover’s cock disappear into his body. If there was a slight discomfort, it was swiftly overshadowed by the overwhelming pleasure of the shaft working its way inside of him. Spock began rocking his hips, pushing in deeper, harder, Kirk crying out each time his lover’s cock slid across his prostate.

Spock threw his head back, his universe centering on the feel of the wet tightness wrapped around his organ. He could never have imagined this feeling, the wonder of filling Kirk’s body, his cock giving him pleasure, the indescribable sensation as he buried himself over and over into the clenching orifice, and the knowledge that this was his, his to take, and his to give, for the rest of their lives.

Kirk’s head rolled from side to side, his hips thrusting up to meet the invading organ in a relentless reach for completion, each slide of flesh into flesh bringing them closer, closer. The sound of their bodies coming together, the slap of groin against upturned buttocks, filled the room.

They were being burned alive in an inferno of their own making, each plunge of the Vulcan’s cock feeding the fires within. Spock settled his hand on the upturned face, his soul burying itself in Kirk’s, and with one final thrust, he came, his seed filling the beloved body. He heard the human cry out and shudder into climax, the flames flaring up and incinerating them both, leaving only the union that would forever embody their love.

^^^^^

“I wonder when they’re going to feed us.” Kirk groused. The intense lovemaking had whetted his always healthy appetite. It had been almost twenty-four hours since their last meal.

“It would behoove them to do so, and quickly. They are not aware of the problems associated with a starship captain that...” The kiss planted firmly on his lips stopped the rest, the next several minutes taken with a thorough exploration of each other's mouths.

Finally, they pulled apart. “I really am hungry, Spock.”

“I know, t’hy’la. Hopefully, it will be soon.” He looked around at their meager surroundings. The small and sparsely furnished prison left much to be desired. The almost adequate facilities, a tiny room for voiding oneself and a faucet that dribbled out an unsteady flow of water, barely served. They had washed up and dressed after their lovemaking, feeling they were at enough of a disadvantage without being caught with their pants down...literally.

Spock leaned back against the wall, his armed draped over the smaller body. This was so new, and wonderful...and so very comfortable. There had been no doubt or shyness between them, their solid friendship the base on which their new relationship stood.

A shadow played across the floor. Kirk stood up suddenly, going towards the door. “Someone’s coming.”

J'han stood on the other side, the same lazy smile on his face. “Back away from the door.”

Kirk backed away and Spock rose to join him as the door opened. J'han entered, accompanied by four of his men, a phaser firmly held in his hand. “I know how to use this, so don’t go getting any ideas.” He motioned them forward. “Come on. It’s time we got on with things.”

They were taken out, and brought to a large house that stood almost in the center of the village. It was fronted by a shaded courtyard, the wall lined with three sets of double doors that led inside. Their “escorts” were left outside, but they were easily seen through the glass-paned doors.

“You two stay here. I’ll be right back. And don’t forget, there are four men outside just waiting for either of you to try something.” J'han left the room, bounding up the stairs that could be seen in the foyer beyond.

Left alone, they began a quiet but thorough inspection of the room, trying to find anything that could be used as a weapon or a means of escape. Nothing was found, except the unmistakable fingerprints of technology that had been impossible to hide. The books that lined two walls were of the finest quality and the decanter and glasses on the masterly carved table of the best crystal. Outside of the phaser, they saw nothing truly advanced, but these people did not live the life of simple hunters.

Spock picked up a goblet, examining it closely before turning to show Kirk.

“Nice. I didn’t know these people had it in them,” Kirk responded as he continued his surveillance.

“They do not. This is from Rigel Four. I recognize the design.” Spock returned the goblet to the table. “ There has obviously been more ‘cheating’ going on than we originally thought.”

“Does that upset your Vulcan sensibilities, Prince?” The sight of the tall Vulcan who stood at the entrance to the room, J'han at his side, brought a stunned look from Kirk. His hair was the color of corn silk, cropped close around his face. His eyes, like J'han’s, were startlingly blue. But where the smaller Vulcan’s were like deep water, this man’s were the color of a Terran sky at midday. The husky laugh in response to the human’s obvious surprise only added to his oddness.

He came forward and sat behind the large wooden desk that dominated the room. J'han leaned at its edge, a wolf guarding its alpha leader.

“Please, sit.” The fair Vulcan motioned to the comfortable looking chairs that faced him. “We have a lot to discuss.”

Spock threw a glance at his captain, and seeing agreement in his eyes, sat down. Kirk, taking the chair next to him, nonchalantly leaned back, his whole demeanor one of calm and control as he studied the Vulcan. “You might start with why you think you can get away with kidnapping two Starfleet officers.”

“I told you, Skott.” J'han stated, cryptically.

Skott looked down for a moment, hiding his smile. “My brother warned me about you, which is rather funny since you are very much alike.” He gave a fond look at the younger man to his right. “Both fast to action, both...” He quieted for a moment before giving his full attention to Spock. “J’han said that he found you in the old city. Is this true?”

“Yes. We were there to explore the ruins. They are not part of your land, so your brother should not have approached us, should not, in fact, have been there at all.”

“They _are_ part of our land. It is ours, the place where our ancestors lived until Surak,” J’han gave a disgusted sneer, “decided that all of Vulcan would be one.”

“Even if that were true, it doesn’t give you right to just go in and kidnap whoever happens to be there,” Kirk interjected.

“Perhaps not,” Skott shot his brother a look before the younger man could interrupt. “But you're here, nevertheless. I don’t totally agree with my brother’s methods, but his goal is the same as mine. Our people are in need of many things, things that a prince’s ransom would go far to provide. And duplicity seems to be the only language your people understand.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means we’re not going to strike any more losing bargains to get what we want.”

“I thought you didn’t want anything. That’s why you’re out here.”

J’han gave a derisive laugh. “Where’d you hear that? From him?” He pointed at Spock. “Just because we didn’t want to go along with Surak, didn’t mean we wanted to stay simple tribesmen forever.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose. “The agreement was that you would be allowed to continue as you are, on your own land.”

Skott nodded. “Yes, an agreement almost two thousand years old, when my people rejected the ways of Surak. But how did that translate to mean that we wanted to be forever isolated from everything else?”

“And you think this is the way to get it?” Kirk asked, incredulous.

“It’s the only way. We’re tired of having to give up more land every time we ask for something,” J’han answered and then turned to Skott. “Why are we arguing with them? That’s how we always end up losing. This time, they’re going to pay.”

“They will not pay. And I do not understand how you could be so ignorant of the consequences of this action.” Spock knew his family. Even in this time, their first reaction would be to force his release. Punishment would be swift...and extremely unpleasant.

“Because this time, we have an extra something on our side,” J’han said. “Something that will make sure you or your family don’t try anything...or should I say 'someone'?”

“J’han.” Skott gave his brother a warning look.

“No, they need to know, both of them.”

“There may be no need.”

“You’re crazy if you think that. Look at them.” J'han pointed at the two men, anger rising. “They think we’re a bunch of savages, that all they have to do is threaten us and we’ll back down. I want them to know that this time, that’s not going to be the case.” He turned to Kirk, that same lazy smile returning. “Remember what I told you? Well, that’s what’s going to happen.”

“You think you can keep me here as a slave?” Kirk returned the smile. “Think again.” He stood, returning his gaze to Skott. “Your brother has a lot to learn, but I think you already know that. In any event, his plan won’t work, not anymore. You can’t hold a prince here...or his bondmate.”

Spock felt a swell of pride at the proclamation. He stood, taking his place next to Kirk.

“You’re lying!” The younger man spun toward his brother, his hands slamming down on the desk. “He’s lying! I know he is.”

Skott looked from the human to the Vulcan at his side. He sighed heavily, leaning forward and wrapping a hand around his brother’s wrist. He gazed into the younger man’s anguished face. “No, J’han, he isn’t lying.”

J’han stared at his brother for a moment, before pulling stiffly away. “You don’t know that, not for sure.”

“Yes. I do. _Look at them_. They are one. Anyone can see that.” He turned his attention back to the two men. “J’han may not have noticed, but I know Stavon would have if you had been bonded before. I’m surprised you’d use so extreme a measure to win.”

Kirk shrugged, and Spock noticed he made no attempt to correct Skott’s wrong conclusion as to why they bonded. “You will release us? Both of us?” Spock asked. It unsettled him that the fair-haired Vulcan would give in so readily.

“Yes. Obviously, this changes everything. I had hoped that something could come of all this but I guess I knew...never mind. It’s late. You will be taken back to the holding place for the night. Tomorrow you will be returned to where you were...picked up.”

“No, Skott!” J’han turned to his brother. “You can’t let them go. They're mine. I captured them, so I get to say what’s to be done with them. It’s my right.”

“And what would you do? You can’t sell the human now. Do you honestly believe that the entire wrath of Vulcan wouldn’t come down on our heads if we tried to separate bondmates? It’s not going to work.”

“I don’t believe it. No one bonds himself to another just to keep from...”

“From what? Slavery?” Kirk interjected. “Think again.”

J’han swung around, advancing toward the human. “I think I’ve had enough of you.”

“Stop it, both of you.” Skott came around the desk, placing himself between the two men. “There’s nothing left to be said. If I thought for a moment we could actually wring any concessions from T’Pau, I’d keep you both here. Since we can’t...” He pulled his brother away, keeping hold of the younger man’s arm.

“So that’s it? You kidnap us, threaten to enslave me, hold Spock for ransom, and then when your plans fall through you think all you have to do is let us go and everything will be just fine?” Kirk threw an amazed look at the Vulcan.

Skott smiled, a bitter smile so unlike his brother’s. “No. I’m aware that there will probably be repercussions. There’s not a lot I can do about that. All I can say is that I’m sorry. If that’s not enough, well, I guess we’ll have to deal with whatever comes.”

“Fine, just get us the hell out of here.” Kirk turned to his first officer. “Come on, Spock.”

Spock looked from one brother to the other. On Skott’s face he saw only respect and an old pain, forever unknown to him. But on J’han’s...there, there was an implacable will that would not be denied. He had seen that same look on his captain’s face often enough, and Spock was suddenly afraid.

^^^^^

The trip back to the small building was made in silence. J’han’s expression had settled into a glower, and any thoughts he might have about the destruction of his plans he kept to himself. He stared at them as they were led in and the door bolted behind them.

Kirk stood at the door, his expression thoughtful as he watched the young Vulcan walk away. “That one’s trouble. I can feel it.”

Spock sat on the bed, his back resting against the wall. “I agree. What I do not understand was Skott’s swift capitulation. He must have known that his brother would not be pleased.”

“Oh, he knew, all right.” Kirk walked over and settled next to the Vulcan. “But he’s smart. He knows they can’t win, probably knew it from the very start. He was just playing for time.”

“To what end? J’han will not change his mind. He believes that, somehow, we can be used to further their people's cause.”

“And Skott knows we can’t. But he also knows his brother. I'll bet that’s why he waited until late in the evening to talk to us. He used up all the time that J’han might have used to plan something else. This way, we’ll be gone before he has a chance to.”

“Perhaps.” Spock was not sanguine about that. He had seen the look on the younger Vulcan’s face when his brother had promised their release.

Within the hour their captor was back, accompanied by a woman carrying their supper on a tray.

“It’s about time.” Kirk took the tray, trading glares with J’han.

“My brother thinks you should be fed. If it were up to me...” J’han shrugged and motioned the woman out, closing the door behind them.

“So, what’s on the menu?” Kirk unloaded the tray on the small table. He settled himself across from Spock and watched while the Vulcan ladled out a thick soup.

“Plomeek.” Spock handed Kirk his bowl, noticing the face his bondmate made at the pronouncement. “You are hungry, are you not?”

“I’m not sure anymore.” He hesitantly brought a spoonful to his mouth and grimaced at the taste. “He probably did this on purpose.” But hunger won out, and he had almost finished when his hand suddenly opened, his spoon clattering to the table.

“Jim? What...” Spock watched wide-eyed as Kirk slumped to the floor. He attempted to rise but found his own body had betrayed him.

Kirk tried to get up, and when that failed, started crawling to the door for help. “Somthin...somthin in food.”

Spock managed to stand and staggered over to the human. He had pulled his captain to his feet when the full force of the drug hit. They both fell to their knees, trying to fight the gathering darkness.

When J’han walked in, he found them sprawled side by side, unconscious. The lazy smile was back.

^^^^^

“Wake up. Damn it, wake up!”

Someone was shaking him, as he swam against a dark river in his struggle toward consciousness. There were hands on his shoulders, the golden color above him fading in and out.

“Jim?” His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

“He’s gone. Come on...that’s it.”

Spock was pulled to a sitting position. He was still in the lockup but it was Skott who knelt next to him. Light was filtering in through the window, the sun just beginning to rise. He held his head in his hands and fought back the pain. “Where is Jim?”

“With my brother and before you ask, no, I don’t know where. I found the note J’han left and came right over.”

“Note?” Spock shook his head to clear the lethargy and confusion that clung, disrupting his thoughts.

“Yes. He’s taken your captain, probably up into the mountains. He plans to keep him there until his demands are met.”

“We must go after them.” He struggled to his feet, pushing away any attempt by the other Vulcan to help.

Skott looked at him critically. “He’s not in any danger. No matter what you might think, J’han would never hurt him. He just wants...”

“I do not care what he wants. I only wish to retrieve my bondmate. J'han had no right to do this, no right.” Spock turned away in an attempt to get his errant emotions under control. _The drug has affected me more than I would have thought_. “We must go...now.”

“I know. Two mounts are being prepared for us. He has several hours head start, but maybe...” The young Vulcan came up behind him. “I know you’re upset but try to understand. In his own way, J’han’s only trying to help.”

He turned then, his gaze riveted on Skott. “You understand. If anything happens to Jim, whether by your brother’s hand or not, he will pay. Do not make the mistake of others. I am more than capable of killing.”

Shock and alarm passed over Skott’s face. “Don’t say that. Nothing’s going to happen, to either of them. Come on, everything should be ready by now.” Almost to the door, he stopped. “I love my brother, Prince. And I, too, am capable of killing.”

^^^^^

The ropes that bound him to the pommel were cutting into his wrists as he came awake. Kirk sat up from his slouch over the beast that carried him. The sun was almost straight overhead and he could feel its heat burning through his clothing. His captor had covered his head with the same getup the Vulcan wore, the same white flowing robe thrown over him. J’han rode ahead, the rope in his hand trailing back to Kirk’s mount. He looked around, trying to get his bearings while fighting off the last of the drug’s effect. “Where are we?” he managed to croak.

“You’re finally awake. I was beginning to wonder.” J’han turned around but kept up their steady pace. “We’re on our way to a place I know, a place where no one will find us...not for awhile, anyway.”

“You drugged us.” Kirk’s mouth felt as dry as the land they rode through. The desert heat doing its best to leach out what little strength the drug had left him. His clothes were damp with sweat but the robe, thankfully, served to keep much of it from evaporating.

“Don’t worry. It’ll wear off soon. Want a drink?” J’han stopped his mount to let Kirk’s catch up to him. The water bag was held over Kirk's head while the water splashed out into his mouth. “That’s enough for now. I don’t need you getting sick or anything. Besides, we’ll be at the watering hole in a little bit.”

“Why are you doing this? You know they’ll come looking for me.”

“Well, looking and finding are two different things. Where we’re going, they’ll never be able to get near without me knowing about it. And I figured ‘why’ was pretty obvious. They want you back, they’re going to have to pay.”

“Spock already told you they wouldn’t.”

“They’ll pay.” J’han turned back around and started their mounts forward again. “You better hope they pay."

^^^^^

Skott lead them through the desert, heading for the range of mountains that loomed large and forbidding in the distance. They rode most of the day, except for the few hours spent under the makeshift shelter to protect themselves from the extreme heat of midday. Trying to make up for lost time, they continued on as the sun moved toward the horizon. Finally, they stopped to rest and water the animals at the small oasis that broke the desolate expanse.

“There’s a path through the mountains, off to the right. We’ll head there.” Skott readjusted his gear and mounted up.

“You are sure they would have come this way?” Spock’s irritability had grown as the day had progressed. It surprised and disturbed him. The time they had spent here seemed eternal and he felt as if they were falling more and more behind.

“As certain as I can be. J’han and I did a lot of exploring through those mountains when we were younger. There’s a series of caves that would be perfect if you wanted to hide out for awhile. And there’s water.” He gave Spock a searching look. “Are you feeling all right? You look...different.”

“No, I am not ‘all right.’ My bondmate has been taken from me, forced against his will into this wasteland. We have been searching for ten point three hours and have nothing to show for our efforts, and now you tell me that you are not even sure we are searching in the right direction.” He wasn’t all right. He could feel it in himself.

By all rights, they should have ridden back to Shi’Kahr and notified the proper authorities, got help. But for some reason Spock had been unable to do so. He had readily agreed when Skott had suggested going after them themselves. He knew the young Vulcan was mainly concerned about his brother. So what was his reason?

“We can probably reach the foothills by nightfall. We can set up camp, spend the night and start fresh in the morning.” Skott started his mount, taking the lead once again.

It took another four hours to reach their destination. Vegetation had appeared as they neared the cooler lands of the foothills, so there was adequate fuel for the small fire Skott built to fend off the coming chill. He hunched down near the blaze, concern growing as he watched Spock tend the animals. The older Vulcan did not look well. His pallor was increasing, and he had not eaten all day.

Spock walked up and tossed a bedroll at the other Vulcan before taking a seat on a large rock near the fire. “The animals have been watered and fed. I will take first watch.”

Skott spread out his bedding, sitting on it comfortably. “I’m really not sleepy yet. I can watch first if you...”

“I do not require rest at this time,” Spock tersely answered.

“Listen, I know this isn’t how you planned to spend your time here and I know you’re worried. I don’t blame you. But do you think you could lighten up a little? We could be together for quite a few days. Why make it worse than it has to be?”

Spock sighed, looking down into the flames. “I...I regret my abruptness. Now, and earlier. I do not understand my behavior. The captain and I have been in worse predicaments. I have always been able to separate my...feelings for him from the situation at hand.”

“You weren’t bonded before.” Skott gazed thoughtfully at Spock. “You know, we thought you were already bonded, to the Lady T’Pring.”

“It was broken.” Spock did not elaborate.

“I didn’t think humans were into that sort of thing.”

“What ‘sort of thing’?”

“Bonding. I’d always imagined that they wouldn’t like it.”

Spock gave his companion a curious look. "Are you not aware that my mother is human?”

“Yes, I knew that. I guess I figured she was an exception, not the rule.”

Spock gazed into the darkness, as if seeing the man who was not there. “Perhaps you are right. It is an exceptional human, an exceptional being, who could so joyously accept a way that is so alien to what they are.”

“You love him.” Envy and heartbreak sliced through the younger man. “I didn’t know that. We assumed you bonded with him to save him from being sold as a slave."

“I would have done that, if he had so desired. That it was more was a gift beyond price.”

“So maybe...maybe there are other humans that...that would want to bond with a Vulcan? That wouldn’t be afraid?”

The question seemed to surprised him. “I would be inclined to think there are. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Skott turned around and got into his bed role. “I’m going to sleep now. Wake me in four hours.”

He could feel Spock studying him, as if aware that Skott’s action were an evasion. Did Spock wonder about Skott's dealings with humans? DId he even care? After a few minutes Skott saw the unmistakable signs of a light meditation settle over the other Vulcan. Aware, but resting, Spock would wait out the hours.

^^^^^

In the distance, Kirk could make out a dim flicker, and he knew without knowing how that Spock was down there. He shivered, the cooler air of the mountains chilling him. They had traveled since early afternoon, leaving the oasis after only a few hours of rest. When darkness had fallen, he’d hoped they’d stop in the valley that opened up as they left the foothills. But J’han had pushed forward, leading them up the narrow mountain path.

He was so tired and he hurt everywhere. His wrists were being rubbed raw by the ropes tying him to the mount and his thighs were on fire from the long ride. The pounding he had taken from Spock had made sitting even more uncomfortable. He smiled, his thoughts going back to the night before. That his oh, so, logical first officer could return his love and passion had been more than Kirk had ever hoped for. He had loved Spock for so long, wanted him in a way he had never wanted another. To be joined with him forever...he felt awed and humbled and so very grateful.

J’han slowed, allowing his captive to catch up. He followed the human’s gaze to the valley floor. “Skott’s probably with him. He’s the only one who’d know where to even begin to look.” He sighed, exasperated. “Sometimes, I don’t understand my brother at all.”

“Why? Because he knows right from wrong?”

“No, because his own happiness always come last.”

“His happiness? What does his happiness have to do with all this?”

“J’han continued to stare down at the light below. “It’s a long story.”

“Well, we seem to have plenty of time,” Kirk remarked, his words heavy with sarcasm.

The Vulcan turned, appraising him. “And maybe, someday, I’ll tell you. But right now I need to keep my eyes on the trail. It gets kind of tricky around here and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. Might be kind of hard to explain to the Prince how his bondmate ended up splattered all over the ground and all.”

Kirk leaned over and looked past the edge of the narrow trail. It was a long way down, even from the short distance they had come. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

J’han’s ready smile was answer enough and Kirk was almost glad his hands were tied. He really wanted to wipe that smirk off the young Vulcan’s face. _Bones better never say anything again about Spock’s lack of facial expression_. If he never saw a Vulcan smile again, it’d be too soon. Though if he were honest with himself, he’d have to admit that he was more exasperated than angry. Almost against his will, he was beginning to like the young Vulcan. Everything was an adventure for him as he grabbed life with both hands. And you could tell a lot about a person by the way they treated animals. J’han had made sure their mounts always had enough water and, though ridden hard, they had obviously been selected for their stamina. Neither animal showed signs of tiring.

“Come on.” J’han started onward again, pulling Kirk along with him.

Hours passed in silence. Every so often Kirk would turn to see if he could still make out the campfire below. Mostly he’d slip into a troubled sleep, exhaustion and his physical discomfort keeping him from a true rest.

Finally, J’han eased his mount through a narrow passageway and his sigh of relief was audible to his captive. “Looks like we’ve made it, Captain.”

Kirk peered ahead. The trail had opened up as they headed into the mountain range but he could hardly see, and it amazed him how surely J’han made his way. They finally stopped along a sheer wall, its expanse broken by a hole darker than the surrounding night.

“We’re going in there?”

“It’s not that bad,” J’han chuckled as he swung down from his mount. He lit the torch lying just inside the entrance and, settling it between some rocks, started untying the rope around Kirk’s wrists. “I wouldn’t try to get away if I were you. You get lost and you’d never find your way back.” He helped Kirk down, holding him up as Kirk tried to get his legs to start working again.

“I’m okay now.” He pulled away, holding his own weight as he flexed his hands, the tingling intensifying as the blood rushed back.

“Wait here. I’m going to get the animals settled.” J’han grabbed the torch and walked off, leading the mounts in the direction of a nearby stand of trees.

Kirk waited, considering and rejecting several means of escape. There really wasn’t any, not at night in any event. He’d have to wait until morning and hope for a lucky break. He didn’t think he was in any danger; J’han seemed more misguided than dangerous. But this wasn’t the way he had planned to spend his shore leave.

He saw the light approaching and the young Vulcan signaled him to follow as he entered the cave. It wasn’t very deep, maybe fifty feet, but it was obviously well used. The torch light revealed a well-stocked cache of supplies piled along the back wall.

“Does someone live here?” Kirk asked.

“Just about. Skott and me, we spend a lot of time up here during the summer.” J’han settled the torch in a well-placed sconce and started pulling down crates, setting them together and piling them with pillows and blankets, talking while he worked. “We’ll sleep here for awhile. It’s still a couple of days ride, so we’re going to need it. Here, this one’s all set.” He stepped back, motioning Kirk to the makeshift bed.

Kirk sat on the blanket-covered stand, gingerly testing out its comfort and strength. He removed his headgear and boots and, after a moments hesitation, pulled off his shirt and pants and slid under the blankets. “I thought this was our destination.”

“This?” J’han’s voice was muffled under the billowing tunic as he pulled it off. “This is nothing. Further up, there are hundreds of caves. Some of them must have been lived in once, because there’s old stuff all over the place.” He finished undressing then, seeming to come to a decision, walked over to the bag he had carried in and started rummaging through it.

“Artifacts? You’re saying there are ruins up here?” Kirk propped himself up on an elbow, watching the other man’s determined search. “What are you looking for?”

“This.” J’han had a small tube in his hand as he came over to Kirk. He squatted down next to the human and squeezed out a liberal amount of some kind of cream onto his hands. He spread it out on both palms. “Stick out your arms.”

Kirk hesitantly complied and felt an amazing relief as the Vulcan slathered the cream on both wrists. “God, that feels good.”

“I thought it might. You promise to behave, maybe tomorrow I’ll leave ‘em loose.” He wiped his hands clean on a corner of the blanket, shrugging at the human’s look of disgust. “But for now...” In one quick motion, he snapped one end of the lightweight manacles he had produced out of nowhere to his captive’s wrist, securing the other end around one of the crate slats.

“Hey!” Kirk tried pulling his arm away, but was effectively caught.

“They’re not much, but you won’t be able to leave without making a lot of noise.” J’han sauntered back to his own bed, and getting under the covers turned his back on the indignant human. “’Night, Captain."

^^^^^

“It is a somewhat steep incline.” Spock looked up at the path, a narrow trail hugging its way along the side of the mountain.

“Just part way. Once you get past the first rise, the climb is more gradual. It’s a few hours journey, so we had better get going.” Skott studied the older Vulcan. They had risen with the sun, riding all morning in an attempt to make up for lost time. But even after a night’s rest, Spock didn’t look well.

They mounted and started up the narrow trail, Skott in the lead. Though the air cooled rapidly, Spock still felt hot, and his body ached. And he needed Jim, needed to know that he was safe. Last night, unable to sleep, he had tried to reach him through the bond, but he didn’t seem to be able to concentrate sufficiently to achieve contact. Could he have contracted some contagion from these people? There were precedence. A group, long out of contact with others of its kind, could harbor an array of deadly illnesses, illnesses that the newly exposed would have no defense against.

Pushing that disturbing thought to the back of his mind, Spock followed the younger man up the incline. The hours passing slowly. Neither man spoke and the sound of the animals hooves beating against the hard pack was the only break in the silence. Finally turning a bend, they reached flat land, the mountains opening up to a hidden plain. Vegetation was thick and it was several minutes before Spock realized that Skott was moving toward a specific location.

“There’s a cave up ahead. If I know my brother, he would have brought your captain at least this far.” Skott picked up the pace as the mouth of the cave came into sight. Riding up to its entrance, he jumped from his mount and rushed in with Spock a step behind him.

“J’han?” The blond Vulcan moved swiftly into the interior, calling his brother as they made their way.

“They are not here.” Spock looked dejectedly around. The cave had opened into a large room-sized area, dimly lit by the filtered sunlight.

“No, but they were. Look at this.” Skott bent down and picked up the empty tube, a smear of ointment all that remained of its contents.

Tendrils of fear spread through Spock, his hand trembling slightly as he took the small tube. “This is for the treatment of injuries. Why would they have need of it?” He turned away, anger growing. “You said your brother would not harm him, that Jim would be safe.” He threw the twisted bit of metal against the wall and rushed out of the cave.

“Where are you going?” Skott caught up with the raging Vulcan as he reached their mounts, fighting the older man for control of them. “Stop it! What do you think you’re doing?”

They grappled, Spock’s rage giving him an added edge over the younger man. “I will find your brother and I will kill him. He has dared to touch my bondmate. No one, no one, dare take what is mine!”

“What’s wrong with you?” Skott managed to get the reins away and pulled Spock from the skittish animals.

Lost in a white hot rage, Spock stumbled, bringing them both down. Their struggle continued as they rolled around on the ground, each trying to gain the upper hand. Finally, Skott was able to twist Spock’s arm behind his back and pin him to the ground. As he straddled the enraged Vulcan, he secured him with an arm gripped tightly around Spock’s neck.

“Listen to me! J’han wouldn’t hurt him!” He tightened his grip until Spock’s resistance ebbed, though his body remained taut.

“There is only one other reason he would have need of the ointment. Either way, your brother will die.” Spock’s voice was calm, but his words were edged with ice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What other reason?”

“Do not toy with me. To violate another’s bondmate is...”

“Violate? You’re crazy! J’han isn’t that way.” Skott held Spock down until finally seeming to realizing what it was Spock was thinking. “Spock, J’han isn’t like you or your captain. He doesn’t desire other men.”

Spock rested his forehead against the dirt. “Then Jim is injured.”

“No, not necessarily. For all we know it was used on J’han.” He loosened his hold. “If I let you go, will you calm down and listen to me?”

He didn’t answer at first, but his body relaxed and his breathing returned to normal. “Very well. I will listen.”

Skott slowly slid off his now calm adversary, and stood to one side. When Spock finally turned over and sat up, Skott reached down and helped him to his feet. “All right. Let’s go back in and see what we can figure out.”

They returned to the cave and Skott lit the torch in the wall sconce. He began looking around, keeping an eye on Spock who sat silently on one of the crates scattered around. “It looks like they must have stayed here over night.” He picked up the top blanket from a pile shoved behind some supplies. “Yeah, this looks about right. Leave it to J’han to not put anything away.”

“Jim is much the same.” The words were quietly spoken.

Skott approached and sat next to the despondent man. “I know this looks bad. But, Spock, I know my brother. He’d never hurt your captain.”

“Jim. His name is Jim.”

“All right. Jim.” He studied Spock, intently. “You’re feeling worse, aren’t you?”

“I do not understand what is wrong with me.” Spock looked away, his words filled with worry and confusion. “I must be ill but I am unable to identify its cause. I fear it is something indigenous to your people, something I have no defense against.”

“Is there something I can do?”

“Not that I am aware of.” Spock stood up. “We should be going. We must hurry if we are to gain on them.”

Skott watched him walk away. Finally, he stood and followed him out.

They continued on, making good time, Spock's state not a hindrance. Whatever was wrong with him, it wasn’t slowing him down. He would not allow it. When they finally stopped for the night, Spock’s terse statement that he needed to meditate was met with silence and a look of deep concern.

^^^^^

Scott kept looking in the direction Spock had taken. He had been gone a long time. Sitting next to the fire, he debated whether to go and look for him but then Spock appeared out of the darkness and took a seat on the ground across from him.

“I know what is wrong now.” He said it stiffly, his eyes refusing to meet the younger man’s.

“What it is? What’s wrong?”

“I am...it is pon farr.” Spock lowered his head, his words a barely audible whisper.

“That can’t be. You were fine before we left. Pon farr doesn’t hit that fast.”

“Nevertheless. It has happened.” He could hardly forget the shame and humiliation of his first time. Bad enough in front of his friends, but to have a virtual stranger see him like this...

“How long do you think you have?”

“I do not know. Not more than two days...three at the most. The symptoms are manifesting themselves quite rapidly. More so than the first time.” He brought his head up, gazing at Skott. “You may wish to leave. I am not sure how I will respond to an unbonded male.”

Skott eyed him warily. “What do you mean?”

“I may try to kill you.”

"How do you feel toward me right now?"

"It has not progressed sufficiently enough for me to consider you a rival at this time. That does not mean that it will not change. If the bonding has caused this..."

"You think that's what's done it? I've never heard of that happening before but I guess any thing's possible." Skott pondered for a moment. "I don't know. I'd think there'd have to be more to it."

Spock sighed. "Perhaps there is. My first time was...interrupted."

"Interrupted? What does that mean?"

Color suffused Spock's face. "It is complicated. Suffice to say that I was left unbonded...and why I know I will see any unbonded male as a threat."

“We’ll worry about that when it happens.” Skott got up, retrieved their bedrolls and spread them out. “Right now, I think you need to get some rest. The going gets pretty rough from here to the main cave.”

Spock stood to remove his boots before climbing into his bedding. He lay down, staring into the fire, his thoughts of Kirk. What would happen to Jim, now? If Spock was unable to reach him before his condition became too grave, would the human survive his bondmate’s death? The Vulcan shivered, dread washing over him. He did not want to die, not now, now that he had finally found the completeness he had long known was only possible with Jim. Fate could not possibly be that cruel. He closed his eyes.

^^^^^

J'han had them on their way as the sun rose. They continued to climb, the high desert growth giving way to the thick vegetation of the mountains. They rested only briefly, a stop as the road forked, before taking the path down to their final destination. Kirk had promised not to try anything and J’han had let him ride untied. The path meandered down awhile but then flattened out as they continued deeper into the mountains. With the coming of night, they made camp.

“Sit down. You’re driving me crazy.” J’han sprawled back on his sleeping bag, watching the furiously pacing human.

Kirk turned and stared at him for a moment before coming over and sitting on his own bedding next to the fire. “Something’s wrong. I can feel it.”

“Really? I didn’t know humans were psychic.”

“Very funny. Something is wrong, whether you want to believe me or not. I just wish you’d get over this crazy idea of using me as trade and just let me go.” Kirk grabbed a small twig and started scribbling in the dirt, unable to keep still.

J’han leaned forward. “It’s not a crazy idea. If Spock wants you back, he’ll have to convince his family to give me what I want.”

“Just what _do_ you want?”

“Ever heard of Uzhau’kahr?”

“No, can’t say I have.”

“No reason you should. It’s a small city just outside the northernmost boundary of our land. That’s what I want.”

“You want a whole city?” Kirk asked, incredulous.

J’han nodded. “Yes. I want them to make it part of our holdings.”

“Why?”

“It’s...personal. It doesn’t matter, anyway. As long as they give it to us.”

“You’re crazy. They're not going to hand over a whole city. What about the people who already live there?”

“That’s their problem. The ones that want to stay, can.”

“Just like that? You’ll just walk in there and take over.”

The Vulcan laughed. “Sure. Why not?”

Kirk sighed. “Listen. I know Vulcans...regular Vulcans, anyway. They won’t do it, not ever.”

“You believe what you want. And what makes you think you know them better than I do, anyway?”

The human sighed and standing up, began to slowly pace. “I’ve had a few dealings with them. Mainly through Spock. It’s always amazed me how a logical, supposedly unemotional people could have treated him the way they did.”

“How’s that?” J’han's gaze followed the human.

“Pretending he wasn’t half human, but never letting him forget it at the same time. That’s how I know they’ll never give in to your demands. They’ll find some ‘logical’ excuse, and it isn't like there wouldn’t be plenty, and stick to it. That's the way they are. They’ll demand Spock back out of principle but I don’t think they realize just what it is they have in him. They see what they want to see, and if for some reason you don’t fit into their scheme of things...”

The Vulcan frowned. “I wonder if that’s why my brother is the way he is.”

Kirk stopped his pacing. “Your brother?”

“Skott lived out there for several years.”

Settling on his bedding once again, Kirk gave his full attention to the young Vulcan. “And?”

“And, what?”

“And what’s that got to do with the way he is?”

J’han laughed, an unhappy sound. “You weren’t around him very long, so you probably didn’t notice. He’s a lot like the prince. Quiet. Reserved. Doesn’t talk much.”

"How do you know so much about Spock?"

"He is a prince, no matter what he says. I made it my business to know, especially after Skott came back. It helped me to better know my brother."

“I thought you two were really close.”

“We are. But Skott’s torn between the two worlds. A part of him wants to stay here, being able to be who he is. But another part...he’s torn, that’s all.”

Both men remained quiet, each thinking about the one closest to them. Finally, J’han broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?”

Kirk looked at him askance. “What?”

“Do you love Spock?”

That one was easy. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“Why do I love him?”

“Yeah.” J’han sat up, intently studying the human. “He’s Vulcan...and he’s male. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Should it? I didn’t think Vulcans had those kind of prejudices.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I mean all the things that come with who we are. The bond...”

“Pon farr?” Kirk smiled.

“Yes. Pon farr.”

The human settled back. “I’ve never known anyone like Spock. He’s strong and brave, loyal to a fault and probably the smartest person I know. And the gentlest. We had a...I guess you’d call it an infestation of little creatures on the ship one time. They weren’t dangerous or anything, just something of a nuisance. One of the crew had brought one aboard and it procreated like crazy. Spock and I were in one of the rec rooms and there were about a dozen of them spread out on a table. Spock picked one up, petting it and listening to it purr. You had to see the look on his face. The intensity and sensuousness...and sheer love of life that he just radiated. I think that’s when I knew I was in love with him. I could never be afraid of Spock. Never. If pon farr comes, when it comes, I’ll be there for him. I can’t imagine not being there.”

“You’re lucky...to have the one you love. But what would you do to keep it?”

“Anything. I’d do anything.”

“And if you couldn’t? Could you forgive the person who got it for you, even if they used a way that, maybe, you didn’t agree with?”

He puzzled over that for a moment. “I don’t know. I’d hope that I could. The person would probably have to love me a lot to do something like that.”

J’han looked into the darkness, displaying an unexpected seriousness. “Yeah, I guess.” Suddenly he was back to the carefree young man. “We better turn it. Don’t try anything with the mounts, Captain. They’re well trained.”

Kirk pulled off his boots and lay out on his bedroll. He pulled his blanket up over himself and got comfortable before replying. “J’han, my name is Jim.”

^^^^^

Spock woke with a start, unsure of his surroundings. He had been dreaming, something he had rarely done before. And he knew it meant he was losing control faster than he had originally thought. The sun was just coming up, signaling another day to try to get through.

"How are you doing?" Skott walked over from the fire, a small bowl in his hand. "Here, I made you something to eat. It's not the best tasting stuff, but it'll keep your strength up."

"I am not hungry." Spock turned away, his stomach rebelling at the smell.

"Spock, you've got to eat. You'll never make it if you don't."

"Leave me alone." Spock swiftly rose, walking away from the young Vulcan. He began collecting his things to ready himself for the day's ride.

Skott stared at him for a moment, and then shrugged and went back to the fire. He sat eating, watching as his companion went about the campsite. "We'll leave in a bit. The next part of the trail isn't bad. but once we pass the crossroads, it gets pretty rough."

"Will we make the caves today?" Spock was settling his gear on his mount, his back to Skott.

"I think so." Skott put out the fire and turned to get his own mount. "Spock!"

Hit by the pain unexpectedly, Spock dropped to his knees. He held himself, fighting for control as he rode out the fire that was burning through him. Skott was suddenly at his side, holding him up until the pain ebbed. Finally, Spock shuddered and tried to gain his feet, Skott still holding him. "I am all right. It has passed."

"Let's go then." Skott helped him mount before retrieving his own animal. He kept them at a steady pace, both aware that they were running out of time. Every so often, he would glance at Spock, worry deepening. "Do you need to stop?"

"No. The pain has not returned." Spock returned the young Vulcan's gaze. "I truly appreciate your concern but at least at this time, there is no need."

"I wish I knew how long we had. But I've never been through what you're going through." Skott hesitated. "Is it bad?"

Spock thought for a moment. "I do not believe it would be so, if Jim were here. The feeling this time is different from the first. Then, there was pain, not just physical but my mind also was...disturbed."

"I don't understand."

"I do not know if I can explain it any more satisfactorily. Though Jim is not here, my mind is calm. The distance does not hinder it. Almost as if, through the bond, I can 'touch' him, be one with him. The loss of control is not as complete as the first time."

"Maybe that's why you haven't tried to attack me."

"Perhaps. I do not know."

Skott looked back to the trail. "There's the fork up ahead. It's going to get kind of rough from here on in. The road goes up almost to the caves. Near the end, we'll have to leave the animals behind and climb the rest of the way. You think you'll be able to do that?"

Spock stared off into the distance. "I do not have a choice. I must find Jim."

^^^^^

“How long before we get there?” Kirk was getting tired of riding.

“Just a few more hours. It hasn’t been that bad, has it?” J’han gave the human a teasing smile.

Kirk stretched, trying to work out the kinks as best he could while on top of the animal. The sun had burned off the morning chill and its warmth felt good against his body. He was wearing only his pants and boots, the mountain coolness more than agreeable. “Easy for you to say. You’re used to this kind of life.”

“Hmm. Skott’s always said that I was born to this.” The Vulcan laughed. “He’s probably right. I can’t imagine living any other way.”

“It’s beautiful. I wonder why no one lives here.” The human looked around, taking in the pastoral setting. The gentle slope of the trail was bordered by lush vegetation and the trees provided a rich canopy.

“They used to. Like I said, some of the caves have a bunch of old stuff in them. But there’s not enough game up here to make it worth your while. Probably gets too cold for them. Skott and I would mainly come up here to explore, spend some time together. Especially when he first got back.”

“You mentioned that he lived away from here for awhile. How come?”

J’han stared off for a time and at first Kirk thought he wasn’t going to answer. Finally, the young Vulcan began to speak.

“Skott’s mother...she wasn’t from here, wasn’t one of us. Her air car had crashed nearby, just south of the village. She was pretty busted up, so they brought her in and got her fixed up. Our father was one of the men who found her and by the time she was okay he had decided to keep her.”

“Against her will?”

“Yeah. I know it sounds uncivilized, but our father, well, he’s always got whatever he wants...one way or the other.”

“Nice fellow,” Kirk quipped.

“You’d have to know him. He’s larger than life. Besides, he’s our leader. He has to be like that...and his time was coming. Anyway, she hated it here, hated him. When she had Skott, he thought she had finally accepted things. She hadn’t.”

“What happened?”

“My father’s times are pretty close. Three to four years. But by his next one, he had fallen in love with _my_ mother.”

“You’re only half brothers? I hadn’t realized.”

“Yeah. I guess he got kind of lax with Skott’s mother, because she finally managed to escape, bribed a couple of the men. She took Skott with her.” J’han studied his hands, his voice lowering. “I can’t imagine what my brother went through. He was six years old and suddenly he was surrounded by people who don’t feel. Or pretend not to, anyway.”

Kirk closed his eyes. The thought was incomprehensible. It was so close to what Spock had gone through. Except Spock had had Amanda to soften the blow as best she could and he had been exposed to the Vulcan way from the moment of his birth.

“But he survived.” There was sorrow and anger and a bone-deep pride in J’han’s voice. “Somehow, he managed to get through it and when he was sixteen we got him back. But he was so...cold. It took him a long time to get over it, to be able to love, and accept love.”

Kirk leaned over, resting his hand for a minute on J’han’s shoulder. “You must have been a big help.”

“I tried. It was so hard to watch him. He wanted so badly to fit in. We’d go for long rides together and he’d tell me about his life, how rough it had been. I had heard so much about him from my father...I was only two when he left, so I didn't really remember him. And now, all of a sudden I had my brother back. But he wasn’t...back.”

“Something like that would take time. It’s a slow process, getting someone who’s never done it to let go, be the person they should be.” He remembered his own uphill battle, wanting so much to get under that cold, Vulcan veneer Spock had worn. But it had been worth it, all of it, every last wonderful moment.

J’han chuckled. “You could say that. Little by little, he opened up. But there was always a part of him hidden away. I only found out what it was a few years ago.”

“What was it?”

“A girl. A young human girl.” The Vulcan looked over, smiling at Kirk. “Guess he’s more like Spock than you thought.”

“She lives in that town, doesn’t she? The one you want them to give you.” It all made sense, now.

“Yes. He’s never forgotten her, talks about her all the time. It’s been almost ten years and he still thinks about her.”

“You know, she may not even live there anymore. Or maybe she’s with someone else. Have you thought about that?”

“She’s still there. Skott would know if she wasn’t, or if she’d found someone else.”

“How would he know that?”

“I’m not sure.” J’han gave Kirk a perplexed look. “But he does. I know he does.”

 

The going remained easy and the sun was heading down when J’han pulled them into a narrow canyon. Straight ahead, Kirk could see the wide opening of a good sized cave, a small stream running along side the brush that grew to the left.

“Okay, we’re home.” J’han eased off his mount, pulling off his bedroll and tying the animal to a nearby tree. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

Kirk dismounted and followed the younger man into the cave. He was surprised at its openness. There was plenty of light, a second opening toward the back allowing the sun’s rays to enter. If the first cave had seemed well equipped, this one was doubly so. There was a real bed, wide and low placed against the back wall, and a small table and chairs that occupied the center of the room. Crudely built shelves lined one side, stocked with blankets, lanterns, and a wide variety of food tins. Someone had invested the time and effort to build a small fireplace out of large stones.

“You weren’t kidding about this being home.” Kirk dropped his pack on the table and started walking around the large expanse. “Just how long are we going to be here?”

“As long as it takes.” J’han grabbed a couple of pitchers from the shelves and headed back out. “I’m going to water the animals and get some for us. Be right back.”

The human settled on the bed, pulled his boots off and lay down. He sighed contentedly. He really didn’t figure on being here long. The disquiet from the night before had been gone by morning and Spock couldn’t be very far behind them, anyway. But until he got here, he’d play along with J’han. It really amazed him, what J’han was willing to do for his brother, no matter how ill-advised. Maybe, once back home, he’d be able to do something to help the two brothers.

Kirk was fast asleep by the time J’han returned, his arms loaded with firewood, one pitcher precariously held by its handle. He started a small fire, the soft glow giving the cave the homey look he had always associated with it. He grabbed a few blankets and settled on the ground next to the hearth. Within minutes, he had joined his companion in slumber.

^^^^^

Spock held tightly to the rock face, his arms trembling. The long day’s ride had sapped much of his waning strength and he hadn’t thought this climb possible when Skott had brought him here, sure that his brother and Jim would be at the caves above. Grabbing the next handhold, he pulled himself up, feeling as if he had been climbing for hours. Six more feet. Only six more feet to the top. He looked up, seeing Skott’s face peering down over the ledge, Skott’s arm reaching out to him.

“Come on, Spock. Just a few more feet.” Skott stretched out, reaching down as far as he dared.

Moving slowly, searching for another handhold, Spock continued his way up. He glanced down at his feet, perched precariously on the fragile rocks protruding from the mountainside. He could see the animals far below, grazing placidly. Don’t look down. He felt his muscles strain, each foot a lightyear’s distance.

“That’s it. You can make it,” The blond Vulcan continued his encouragement, urging on the man reaching the end of his endurance. Finally, close enough to the top, Spock stretched his fingers out and grasped Skott's hand. Putting everything they had into it, Spock was hauled up and onto the ledge.

Skott got to his feet and stared at the heaving man. Spock’s color was ashen, dark circles surrounding eyes heavy with fatigue. “The caves are just ahead.” He reached down and helped Spock up.

Slowly, they made their way through the brush that grew thickly about, until suddenly they were there, the cave appearing, as if by magic, ten feet away.

Spock swayed and fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. “Jim is not here.”

Skott ran in, almost tripping over the ancient artifacts scattered about like so much debris. Past the first fifteen feet the cave opened up to a chamber almost cathedral in its size and scope. But for all its majesty, it was devoid of life. He slumped against the wall.

“What is this place?” Spock stood at the chamber’s entrance. His demeanor could almost pass for detached, if not for the trembling that coursed through his body and the glazed look in his eyes.

“I don’t know. We found it years ago, J’han and I.” He straightened away from the wall. “I could have sworn they’d be here. I’m so sorry.”

Spock walked further into the cave, inspecting one item after the other. “There is a treasure of artifacts here, both archaeological and monetary. Why have you not reported it?”

“Why? So your government can take even more away from us? This is our land. We want to keep it.”

“I see your point.” He picked up a small statue, marveling at the detail. It was of two males. The taller held the other to him, pulling his head back in a loving kiss. Oddly, he was winged. The smaller man had long hair that covered his ears. He gingerly replaced it, afraid his shaking hands might lose their grip, destroying the priceless piece.

“S’aisha and Ka’arie.” Skott stood next to Spock, lightly touching the statue.

“Love and Soul?” Spock looked at the younger man, intrigued.

“A myth still told by my people. How love,” he ran his hand over the winged form, “captured the soul of Vulcan.” His hand caressed the second figure.

“It is beautiful. And did they stay together, always?”

Skott turned away. “For us, they did.”

Spock closed his eyes. Love had been banished by the precepts of Surak. Had Vulcan’s soul died, too? No, not for him. He opened his eyes again, and touched the forms, studying the two lovers. Truly, they had survived. His love for Jim was all the proof he needed. He sat down on a nearby slab of stone, his legs suddenly weakening.

Skott came over and sat next to him. “I think we better leave now. I know you feel bad but we have to keep going. There are other caves.”

“I am not sure if I am able to do so.” Spock studied the emotions playing over Skott’s face. “Do not sorrow so for me. I have been given a gift of unequal price. That I was allowed it for only a little time...”

“Don’t say that! You’re not going to die. I won’t let you.”

Spock almost smiled. “There is little you can do to prevent it.”

“You can’t accept anyone else, can you?”

“No. My bond to Jim is sure. There can be no other.”

“What does it feel like, being that close to someone?” Skott asked, tentatively.

Spock looked away, the pain of their separation harder to bear than the pain of his body. “It is like finding the other half of yourself.”

Skott pondered the words for a moment. “How can you tell? If it’s the right one, the right person for you?”

“You can tell. You feel it, all the way to the very center of your being.”

“And that’s what you felt, when you first met Jim?”

He turned back to the younger Vulcan, seeing a familiar need. “No, not at first. At first, all I saw was the youth and the beauty and the determined will. But slowly, he became necessary to me, his quicksilver mind calling to mine. I found that his soul is even more beautiful than his body, his thoughts more ethereal than his face. And I knew that I would forever be his...whatever my fate.”

“You make it sound as if you expected to be parted from him.”

“That was my intent. I was not aware that he returned my love. This was to be our last time together. I was afraid that he would turn from me once he knew. I should have known better, known him better.” He bent over, gasping as the pain tore through his body. “There is little time left. You must leave.”

Skott stood up, grabbed Spock’s arm and hauled him to his feet. “No! You’re coming with me if I have to drag you all the way. They’ve got to be around here somewhere. There’s another series of caves, down the other trail at the crossroads. We’ll go there.” He threw Spock’s arm over his shoulder, dragging him out of the cave. “And if they’re not there, we’ll go on to the next. You’re going to live, damn you. You’re going to live!”

^^^^^

Kirk shot up with a gasp, clawing at the blanket wrapped about his body. He twisted and the sudden motion sent him tumbling off the bed as he tried to get his legs under him. His heart racing, he finally managed to stand up and stagger toward the entrance in a panic.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The noise had awakened J’han. He leapt up and grabbed at the fleeing human, easily holding him with his superior strength.

“I’ve got to get to Spock! He needs me, he needs me right now!” Kirk struggled in the Vulcan’s grip, mindlessly intent on getting to his bondmate. “Let me go!”

“You don’t even know where he is! Now settle down." J’han forced him back to the bed. Kirk’s struggles lessened as reason asserted itself.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but you’ve got to let me go to him. There’s something seriously wrong. I know it.” He flopped back on the bed and curled into himself. “I feel sick.”

“What’s the matter?” J’han felt the human’s sweat-slick forehead. Kirk was burning up, his skin blanched.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I have to find him, J’han. Please, you’ve got to help me.” He tried to rise from the bed, only to fall back as pain radiated down his back and groin.

“There’s nothing we can do right now. It’s dark out. We’d end up stumbling around out there, probably get lost or hurt.”

Kirk grabbed the front of the Vulcan’s shirt with both hands and pulled himself up. “Listen to me. We have to go. Right now, right away. Please, J’han.” He groaned, his head falling onto the Vulcan’s chest. “God, it hurts.” He hung on, fighting the pain. He had to conquer this. Spock needed him. The urgency was growing stronger, but his body rebelled against the force alien to its nature. It was tearing him apart.

“I’m sorry, Jim. We can’t, not now. Tomorrow, I promise. We’ll leave tomorrow.” J’han tried breaking his hold, but Kirk kept his fists clenched tightly around the material.

“Tomorrow...tomorrow’ll be to late. We have to go now...right now.” The words were coming out in broken gasps, as he weakened. Finally, he shuddered and let go as he was gently lowered back on the bed.

J’han watched the human’s labored breathing. Kirk’s eyes darted around the room as if looking for something lost. “What it is?”

“I...I feel strange. Something’s going on...inside of me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s hard to explain. I...I don’t know what it is. It’s like my mind and body are trying to separate.” He drew in a breath, shivering under the onslaught. “Maybe I’m dying. I don’t want to die. It’s just begun, I can’t lose it now.”

“You’re not going to die.”

“You don’t know that.” Kirk was almost angry. "Why now? Why did this have to happen now?” _Oh, Spock. What will you do when I’m gone?_

“Just rest. We’ll go find Spock in the morning.” He got up and removed Kirk’s shirt and pants, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Getting two more blankets and adding them to the first, he covered the quaking form, tucking them under him. He didn’t know what else to do. The human would moan intermittently, his face grimaced in a rigor of pain. J’han slid down, sitting on the ground next to the bed. He grabbed a pillow and propped it behind him, taking his place for the long night ahead.

^^^^^

The journey down the mountain was a nightmare. Skott half dragged, half carried Spock back the way they had come, back to the cliff’s edge, their mounts, and the way out, fifty feet below. Without light, using only touch and the desperate need urging him on, he had made his way down, Spock draped over him, his arms tied together and slung around Skott’s neck. It took over two hours of heart-stopping slides, grabbing at anything in reach, and then bone-jarring stops, before he finally felt the solid ground beneath his feet. Dropping his burden, he only managed to undo the ropes about Spock’s forearms before falling into unconsciousness.

The first rays of light from the rising sun woke him, his body protesting as he dragged himself to a sitting position. Spock still lay where he had left him, his breathing shallow, the shivers passing through his prone body evidence of its growing imbalance. Skott had seen a man die during his time, his bondmate too far away to be reached. It had been a horrifying sight. He had come to think of Spock as a friend, and if it came to it, he would kill the Vulcan himself, rather than let him suffer through the throes of agony that was the plak tow in its final stages.

He crawled over and, after a moment's thought, proceeded to strip them both, trading his clothes for Spock's. Once dressed, he got his own loose trousers and tunic onto his unconscious companion, pulling him up and lifting him over his shoulders as he struggled to his feet. He managed to get him seated on one of the animals, grateful that neither had strayed during the night. He mounted up, and started back to the crossroads.

They had been riding for a couple of hours when he stopped to check on Spock. The older Vulcan was awake but his eyes were glazed and he seemed confused, not recognizing Skott for several seconds.

“I thought I was somewhere else,” Spock croaked, his voice dry and thin.

Skott unhooked a water bag and lifted it up for Spock to drink. “We’ve been on the road awhile. We’ve got about a day's journey to the other caves and that’s if we don’t stop to rest. The mounts got plenty last night, so we might be able to make it.”

Spock drank very little, pulling away after only a few sips. “You are being overly optimistic.”

“Have you always been this way? Can’t you try to believe that we’ll find them, that everything’s going to work out?” He replaced the water bag, reining in his animal to keep him at Spock's side.

“I see no logic in denying what is. I am nearing the latter stages. The odds are...very high that I will succumb before we reach the caves.” He looked down on himself, confused. "Why am I wearing this?"

“Because I'm counting on us making it. Those will be easier to get out of quickly." He smiled at Spock's blush. "I won’t deny that things could be better. But what’s the harm in hoping? I wonder if I would have been like you if I had stayed.”

“If you had stayed?” Spock tried to concentrate on the other man’s words. His vision was swimming in and out of focus, and he felt close to passing out.

“I lived in your world for almost ten years. I was miserable. They were always trying to pound that stuff into me. ‘You are not logical. You are too emotional,’” Skot mimicked.

“I do not understand. Why were you there?”

“My mother. She was like you. A ‘true’ Vulcan. When she had the chance, she went back to her world. Unfortunately, she decided to take me with her.” He looked at Spock. “You look better.”

“Conversation seems to aid my ability to think clearly. And the pain has receded, at least temporarily.” He paused. “What of your father?”

“He did what he could but it still took all that time for him to get me back. I think the only reason they finally let him have me is because my mother died. Those last three years...”

Spock could imagine. HIs own flight from Vulcan was in no small part precipitated by his own inability to give what his planet demanded of him. “It must have been extremely unpleasant.”

“It was. The only thing that kept me sane was Lara being there.”

"Lara? A human.”

“Yes. Her parents worked at the main hospital there, whose services I had a regular need for.”

Spock raised an eyebrow in question.

“I fought a lot. At least once every few days I’d have to make a trip down there. Anyway, one day, I must have been around eight or so, she was there, and we started talking. Just like that, like we’d known each other for years. After that, it became my second home. We spent all our free time together, doing the things that kids do at that age. Eventually it became more. I think I’d never would have been able to fit back in here if it hadn’t been for her. She kept that part of me alive. Kept me from becoming like everyone around me. When they finally allowed my father to take me back...it was rough. Even now, I miss her.”

“Do you know what has become of her?”

Skott pondered for a minute. “I’m not sure. Somehow, I know she’s still here, on Vulcan, waiting for me. Is that crazy?”

“I do not know.” He quieted then, the brief conversation having taken all his effort. Who was he to say what was crazy or not? Would they not have called him that, if he had let known his own desire for a certain starship captain? And yet, he had somehow managed to win such a prize, to bond with a man many would give much to possess. If he survived, a large part would be on account of the young Vulcan who rode at his side. His last thought before consciousness again slipped away, was that he could do no less but try to find a way to give his young friend the happiness he so greatly deserved.

^^^^^

“Jim, wake up. Wake up!” J’han shook the human, trying to get a response, the vacant look frightening in its implications. Kirk’s eyes were dull and out of focus. “Jim!”

Slowly, he came to consciousness. “Spock?” Kirk's hand came up and touched J'han's hair, but pulled back as if stung at the first touch. “You’re not Spock.” He closed his eyes.

“Stop it! You’ve got to stay awake! Jim!” This wasn’t working, but he didn’t know what else to try. “Listen to me. If what I think is happening really is happening, you’ve got to stay awake.” J’han shook him again. “Jim, you’ll die if you don’t wake up!”

Determined, he hauled Kirk out of the bed and started walking him around the cave, hoping the cold morning air would help revive him. When that didn’t work, he picked him up, carried him outside and plunged them both into the icy stream running alongside the cave entrance.

With a gasp, Kirk came to, the shock to his system pulling him from the recesses of his mind. “Wha...what are you doing?” He clung to the Vulcan, trying to pull himself out of the water.

“I’m trying to save your life, so stop fighting me!” J’han shouted. After thoroughly soaking Kirk, he trudged out of the water, taking the now drenched human back to the bed.

Kirk, still disoriented, stood up and tried removing his wet briefs, only to have J’han come and yank them off him and then forcing him to sit. “Just sit there. I don’t want you falling asleep.”

“I’m cold.” Kirk shivered, clumsily trying to get the blankets around himself.

“No.” J’han grabbed the blanket, pulling it off the naked human. “The cold will help keep you awake.”

“I don’t want to stay awake.” He rolled over, laying down and curling into a fetal position.

“Stop it.” He pulled the resisting human back up. “If you fall asleep, you’re going to die.”

I’m not going to die. I’m going with Spock.” He batted at the hands holding him.

“You’re going to die. And if you die, Spock dies. Do you want that?”

“No. Spock’s not going to die. I...”

“Yes, he will. You have to stay aware or he’ll die.”

Kirk shook his head, trying to make his mind work. “He’ll die?”

“Yes. Both of you will.”

That seem to get through to the human. He clutched at J’han, fighting the pull of unconsciousness. “Keep me aware. Whatever you have to do. Just keep me awake.”

Kirk fought as hard as he could, and when he slumped into J’han’s arms he was picked up and carried out once again. This was obviously going to be an ongoing battle, one with life or death the ultimate prize. It was one battle J’ahn was determined to win.

The rest of the day past in a swirl of circling steps and icy water. It was getting harder and harder to force Kirk to consciousness, his awareness briefer and briefer. By nightfall, J’han was fast losing his own battle to stay awake, the constant activity and strain wearing him down. Staggering in from one more dunking, he dumped Kirk on the bed and stumbled to the floor, his strength gone. He didn’t even hear the human whisper the name of the one it was all for.

^^^^^

The sun was barely making the tops of the mountains when J’han opened his eyes. He was cold and stiff; the fire had burned itself out hours ago. Groggily, he rose to his feet. Memory came crashing down at the sight of the human on the bed, naked, curled up against the cold. Who knew how long Kirk had been asleep, several hours for sure. Tenderly, J’han straightened him out, covering him with the blankets and turning to start a fire.

It was all over now. There was no pulling Kirk back. J’han let fall the tears for the man he had come to admire and respect. There was nothing left to do but wait. Chances were, his brother was having to deal with the other side of this, watching the Vulcan prince die in the agony of an unconsummated pon farr.

Bringing the fire to a warming blaze, he took a seat at the table and sat watching Kirk’s chest slowly rise and fall. It was several moments before his consciousness picked up the sounds emanating from outside the cave. He bolted out, stunned to a halt at the entrance. Across the clearing he saw his brother maneuvering out of the brush, the prince slumped over the animal behind him, dressed in the robes of the Paki-Sular.

“Skott! Skott, over here!” He started running toward his brother, weak with relief.

“No, J’han, stay back!” Skott stopped halfway to the cave. He jumped off his mount and pulled the prince awkwardly to the ground.

“What’s the matter?” J’han started forward again.

“No! You have to stay away. Where’s Jim?”

“He’s inside. He’s unconscious, Skott.”

“Go back inside. If you can, undress him and then get out. Use the back entrance. For some reason Spock’s not seeing me as a rival but we’d better not press our luck. You’ve been around Jim all this time. Spock would probably try to kill you.”

“All right.” He started backing up and then bolted inside. Grabbing a few quick supplies, he checked Kirk and then ran out the back way.

Skott waited a few minutes, using the time to remove the tunic and pants from the semiconscious Vulcan. Then, he started forward, holding Spock up with an arm around his waist, Spock’s arm draped across his shoulders.

“Come on, Spock. We’re almost there. We didn’t come all this way so the two of you could die, so you better wake up now.” He led Spock into the cave and started toward the bed where the human lay. They had gone only a few feet when Spock shuddered violently and fought his way into total consciousness.

“Wha...Jim?” He stumbled out of Skott’s arms, crawling the last few feet to Kirk’s side.

“T’hy’la?” Gently, Spock slid in next to his bondmate, taking him into his arms. Caressing the side of Kirk’s face, he settled his trembling hand into the meld position. “I am here, t’hy’la. I have come for you.”

Skott stood at the cave entrance, afraid to move, afraid to break the spell Spock was weaving, calling his bondmate back. When Kirk stirred and brought his hand up, cupping the back of the Vulcan’s head and pulling it down toward his, Skott silently walked out.

^^^^^

“It’s been two days. You think they’re almost done?” J’han turned to his brother as he lifted the water bag out of the cold stream.

“Who knows? This whole thing hasn’t been like any pon farr I’ve ever heard of.” Skott shook out the bedroll before carefully rolling it up. “ It came on so fast. Maybe we’ll be lucky and it’ll burn itself out just as quickly.”

His younger brother laughed. “ I’ll bet they won’t consider it being lucky. They got pretty loud there for awhile. It’s a good thing you thought to strip the prince before you got him inside.”

Skott grinned. “You’re probably right. And I guess we shouldn’t begrudge them the time. After all, it’s our fault they were caught up here when it happened.”

Walking over to his brother, J’han settled a hand on his shoulder. “You aren’t to blame for any of this. They both could have died, and it would’ve been all my fault.”

Skott was quiet for a time before responding. “Maybe, but I think I should have known you’d try something. I was responsible for them.” He looked away. “Sometimes...”

“Sometimes what, Skott?” he asked, gently.

“Sometimes I wonder how I’ll ever manage being responsible for all our people. It isn’t something I ever really wanted. Our father...”

“Don’t live your life for him, big brother.” J’han squeezed the shoulder affectionately.

“I wish I could...just be what I want. It’s not all that simple, J’han.”

“Yes it is. Just do it. Go back to that town and find out if what you want is still there.” He grabbed his brother by the shoulders, bringing them face to face. “And then go and do whatever the two of you want, wherever that happens to be. You’re my brother and I love you, but I can’t stand the thought of you staying here when it’s making you miserable.”

“You wouldn’t miss me?” Skott teased.

“Sure I would, You know I would. But I’d know you were happy.”

The older Vulcan moved away to sit next to the fire built to drive off the morning chill. “Why does it have to be one or the other?”

J’han came over and knelt in front of Skott. “You know why. I thought I could change it, make them treat us like we’re worth something. But it all just blew up in our faces.”

“At least you tried, little brother. You always try.” He got up, poking at the fire, adding kindling to restart the blaze. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t what to go away. I don’t want to leave you or our father. I’ve lived out there. I don’t know if I could survive, knowing I could never come back here.”

J’han watched his brother, sad and angry at the way life had conspired to allow him only half an existence. Yet it seemed there was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do to give Skott the life he deserved. Wearily, the younger man rose and began preparing their morning meal, determined, as he always was, to ease the load that his brother carried so valiantly.

^^^^^

Kirk snuggled back, enjoying the feel of the Vulcan’s cock nestled against his buttocks and sighed contentedly. So this was pon farr. He hadn’t had sex like this since he was seventeen. He’d lost count after their tenth time. Anyone who thought Vulcans didn’t have a clue about sex was crazy. Spock had been forceful, loving...and erotic as hell. If he was very lucky, Spock’s cycle would be like J’han’s father’s. He’d like that.

“What are you thinking?” The deep baritone purred in his ear.

Kirk turned, pulling his bondmate into a tight embrace. “You. I’m thinking about you. And about how wonderful you make me feel.” He laughed at the arched eyebrow, pulling Spock closer. “I love you so damn much, did you know that?”

Spock only smiled and then took Kirk’s mouth with his, the sweet kiss deepening into passion.

“Not over yet?” Kirk teased, his breathless voice laced with hope as he felt Spock’s hands settle on his ass.

“No, t’hy’la, it is over. But I will never stop desiring you. My need for you is truly quite extraordinary.” He turned onto his back, pulling Kirk on top of him.

“Hey, what’s this?” Kirk slid slowly up and back, the feel of Spock’s organ, hard and full against his stomach, bringing a like response from his own.

“What do you want it to be?” Spock spread his legs, an invitation.

“Spock?” He ran his hand through Spock’s slightly mussed hair, following the edge of one pointed ear with a fingertip.

“Is it not what you want?”

“Yes. God, yes.” Kirk spread Spock’s legs further apart, resting between them on his knees. “Are you sure about this?”

“I am yours, t’hy’la. As much as you are mine.”

“In other words, we’ll take turns.”

“I would not put it quite that way...”

“I was just kidding, Spock.” He trailed his hands up Spock’s thighs, over his belly, and on to his chest. “I love your chest hair. I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you without a shirt.” Playing with the soft splay of hair, he sought out the tiny nubs underneath.

“Truly?” Spock reached his hand out, skimming his fingertips over Kirk’s chest. “I believe I prefer your smoothness.”

Kirk laughed and then leaned forward to suckle a nipple, his arms going around Spock’s chest. He could feel the tip harden as he swirled his tongue over and around, lapping and sucking until Spock was arching under him, incoherent sounds of pleasure issuing from the Vulcan. Finally, with one last lick, he gave up his prize, moving up to kneel at Spock’s side.

Without a word, Spock rose up on one elbow, and wrapping his other arm around Kirk’s hips, pulled him close and took the human’s cock into his mouth.

“Oh, yes.” Kirk hands came down to entangle in Spock’s hair, holding the Vulcan’s head as his organ slid in and out, Spock’s lips wrapped tightly around it. He watched, mesmerized, as his lover sucked him, the hand around his hips spread wide on his ass, pushing him deeper into the wet heat.

“Oh...oh, Spock...please, love...don’t let me...” He gasped out the words, fighting the urge to let go, to spill his seed into the sweet fire of Spock’s mouth.

Slowly, Spock released the saliva slicked cock, his tongue flicking out to lick the drop of precum at its slit. Then he turned to lie face down, shoving a blanket under his hips and resting his head on his folded arms. “Now, Jim.”

Kirk stared, his heart beating wildly. He had dreamt of this, in the long hours of ship’s night, dreamt of burying himself in the heat of Spock’s body. But he had never imagined that Spock would want it, too. Moving down between the spread legs, he reached out, his touch almost reverent. He stroked Spock’s buttocks, spreading the muscled cheeks to seek out the puckered opening. “You are beautiful, did you know that?”

“Your love makes me so.”

“And I do love you, so very much.” He centered himself then, pushing slowly into the welcoming orifice. He felt the tip of his cock breach the anal ring, the muscles constricting tightly around him. He tensed and stopped at Spock’s low moan. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, yes. Don’t stop.” Spock braced his knees and pushed back on the prod entering him.

“You’re so tight. You’re so damn tight.” Kirk sank in an inch at a time, pulling back and then pushing himself deeper with each forward thrust until he felt his groin settle against the hot flesh. He froze, half out of his mind with the sight of his cock buried in Spock’s ass, the feel of that hot, moist channel enfolding him. It was good, so very good. And he wanted to stay here, like this, forever. Locked together with the other half of his soul.

“Jim, please, move!” Spock heaved himself up on his hands and knees and rocked back against him. The spell was broken, and with a cry of surrender Kirk began to move.

His hips took up a rhythm, snapping forward, sinking deep, then withdrawing almost all the way out, only to thrust back in. He leaned over, one hand holding on to Spock’s shoulder while wrapping the other around the Vulcan's straining cock.

Spock cried out, shivering with pleasure, pistoning back to meet the invading organ, and then forward to drive his cock into the milking hand. Faster, harder, their bodies pounding together, until with a strangled moan, Spock came, his semen spilling out into Kirk’s fist.

“Oh, god...oh, god.” It was too much. The tight clench of muscles on his cock, the slow ooze of semen through his fingers. Kirk lunged forward one last time and falling onto Spock’s back, released himself into the welcoming sheath. Jetting hard and deep, he clung to the strong body while he shuddered his climax, his head resting against Spock’s shoulder.

Spock slowly lowered his body, the two coming to rest as one. He reached back, taking hold of Kirk’s other hand. Bringing it to his mouth, he placed a kiss on the open palm.

“I love you, too.” Kirk snuggled against Spock’s back. “Are you comfortable with me up here like this? Not too heavy?”

“No, t’hy’la. It is most pleasurable.”

“I guess we should be getting up pretty soon, get cleaned up and let J’han and Skott know we’re all right.”

“I am sure they are quite aware of our continuing health.”

Kirk chuckled, his hand locking with Spock’s. “Probably. In that case, let’s just lie here for a few more minutes. We’ve got a long ride ahead of us.” He kissed the shoulder beneath him, and then yawning deeply, lay his head back down. They were both asleep within seconds.

^^^^^

“Come on, you two. Hurry up.” J’han grinned, throwing his brother a wink. They were making good time. They had left the mountains behind that morning, the oasis a welcoming sight on the horizon. By tomorrow evening, they would be home.

Skott turned to study the two men trailing behind them. ”I wonder if they’re that way because of pon farr or being so newly bonded.”

“You mean so...”

“Yeah.”

J’han thought a minute. “You know, Skott. I think it’s just them. They really aren’t acting any different than before. At least, Jim isn’t far as I can tell. It’s just...”

“A connection between them.”

“It’s more than that. Lots more.” J’han closed his eyes, liking the feel of the sun, warm and soothing on his skin. He had missed it in the colder clime of the mountains. In the quiet, he could hear drifts of Kirk and Spock’s indistinguishable conversation.

“Harmony.” Skott broke the silence.

“What?” J’han opened his eyes, turning to his brother.

“They create harmony. Balance. I really admire Spock, the way he’s overcome everything, all he’s gone through. But I don’t think I really knew him until after he was back with Jim. Nothing changed, nothing I can name, anyway, but he’s a different person. Before, he was controlled, but a basically nice, even gentle, man. He still is. Yet with Jim, it’s like he’s found his soul...” He quieted, his voice trailing off.

“Skott? What is it?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Yet, a look of deep concentration was etched on Skott’s face.

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me.”

“I...I was just remembering the night you brought them to the house. It was there then. They couldn’t have been bonded for more than a couple of hours, but it was already there. Maybe, it always has been.”

J’han snorted. “You did try to tell me.” He gave the couple another long look before turning to face the fast-approaching oasis. “Do you think either of us will ever have someone like that?”

“We can only hope, little brother. We can only hope.”

^^^^^

Eight months later

“Jim?” Spock closed the front door, depositing the myriad letters and packages on the entry-hall table. “Jim?”

“I’m in here,” Kirk yelled out from the bedroom.

“Have they announced anything?” Spock sat next to his bondmate. Kirk was sitting on the edge of their bed, intently watching the vid screen.

“No. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long. Sarek said they were going to vote on it last week.” After an intense campaign, they had finally pushed Vulcan into a corner, forcing them to face the injustice done the Paki-Sular.

“The Vulcan Council is notorious for its inability to deliberate with any expediency.” Even Sarek had been unable to coerce that august body to move any more quickly to right an ancient wrong.

“It’s been almost eight months. How much time do they need?” Kirk turned off the screen. “I knew we should have stayed.”

“It would have done little good, Indeed, our presence served more as a distraction. Many on Vulcan were not pleased at our insistence on bringing the situation to light.” Their trip to Vulcan six weeks before had served a double purpose. They had wanted to see for themselves how well things were going, as well as visit the two brothers they now thought of as friends.

“Well, that’s the only way anything was going to be done about it.” Kirk rubbed at the back of his neck. He had never been very good at waiting. “So what took you so long? I thought you were only going in for a few hours.”

“There were questions regarding my modifications for the ship. I stayed long enough to insure that there would be no problems implementing them.”

Kirk shook his head, ruefully. “I’ll never understand how they thought something like that made any sense.”

“They did not have our hands-on experience regarding the use of phasers.” Spock remembered quite distinctly their horror at discovering that the designers had come up with a plan to increase phaser power by channeling it through the main engines. They had argued against it, pushing until it gave. Starfleet had been unable to hold against their combined onslaught.

“Yeah. They’ve obviously never been in a ship under attack with its engines gone. So, how soon will she be ready?”

“At the present rate, work will be completed in ten point three months.”

Kirk whistled. “That’ll be a record. I knew there was a reason I kept you around. You take such good care of my ship.” He leaned over and gave the Vulcan a quick kiss. “Anything else going on?”

“We have a package from Skott.”

“Really? Let’s go open it.” He grabbed Spock’s hand, pulling him from the room.

“It is in the foyer.” Spock retrieved it and joined Kirk on the living room sofa, placing the package on the coffee table.

Kirk eagerly began to pry the box open. “I didn’t know he was on Earth.”

“Nor did I. And with J’han professing not to know where he had gone...” Spock had not believed him. The two brothers were very close. It was inconceivable that Skott would not have told him his destination.

Kirk gave Spock a knowing look. “I didn’t believe him, either. He’s changed, a lot, but he’d still want to know where Skott was.”

“Indeed.” They had both been surprised by the changes in J’han. Gone was the wild, impulsive youth. His brother’s departure had sobered him, and the weight of his new responsibilities as his father’s heir-apparent had forced him to grow up.

“I wonder if he ever looked for that girl. The one from Uzhau’kahr.” Kirk finally got the top off and began to pull the packing out, haphazardly.

“T’hy’la...”

“I’ll pick it up later.”

Spock sighed. It was a side of Kirk he had not got used to...but would not change for the world. “Before we left Vulcan, I did, in fact, check the immigration data bank. Lara was no longer on Vulcan. She had left only three weeks before our arrival, a time that coincides with Skott's departure.”

“You think they’re together, don’t you?”

“Yes. It is my belief that they have been bonded for many years.”

“Why, because you didn’t see him as a threat during pon farr?”

“In part. But also because he remained faithful to her over all the years of their separation.”

“You know, J’han said that Skott would know where she was.” Kirk reached into the box with both hands, lifting out the object inside. At Spock’s indrawn breath, he looked up into the stunned face of his bondmate. “Spock?”

“Jim...” Spock lovingly took the statue from Kirk’s hands, carefully placing it on the table before them.

Kirk peered closely at the two figures captured in stone. It’s beautiful, Spock. Who are they?”

“S’aisha and Ka’arie. Love and the soul of Vulcan.”

Kirk turned at the wonder he heard in Spock’s voice, studying his bondmate intently. “Does this mean something to you?”

Spock’s gaze was locked on the statue. “In a way. In the depth of my despair, they brought comfort.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It is of no import, t’hy’la. But I am puzzled as to why Skott would send it to us.”

Kirk looked back inside the box. “There’s a letter in here.” He handed the sealed envelope to Spock.

He took the letter but continued to stare at the statue. “It is extremely valuable. Surely, he did mean for us to have this.”

“Come on, Spock, open the letter.”

Spock carefully unsealed the envelope, unfolding the note inside. “It is to both of us.”

“What’s it say?” Kirk leaned eagerly over, trying to make out the note.

Spock began to read.

 _My Dear Friends,  
I wanted you both to have this. I think you will appreciate it more than anyone else ever could because it embodies all I saw between you. Or maybe, it’s the other way around. I’m not sure. But also, because of the news I received last night. The Vulcan Council has voted to release my people from the original agreement. We are free._

“The vote’s in? How did he find out before we did?” Kirk asked, indignantly.

“I do not know but I am inclined to think that his information is correct.”

“We’ll figure it out later. Go on with the letter.”

Spock continued.

 _I never told you the legend behind the statue. The story goes that my people were dying out because love had been taken from them, locked away where none could ever retrieve it, for it resided in the heart of Vulcan’s winged god of knowledge. But their bravest warrior took it upon himself to try and save his people. He would challenge the god, and in killing him, release the stolen love. Instead, when the god saw the fair young warrior, he fell instantly in love with him, and willingly gave all that was locked inside, and by doing so captured the warrior's soul. They became one. I believe they are together, still.  
I finally know what that kind of love is like, though I had to leave my people to find it. I have missed my family, J’han most of all. He understands, and he will be a better leader than I ever would have been. But now, because of your help, I can return home if I wish. It will be good to see my brother again.  
Live long and prosper, Spock, Jim. May the gods be with you._

 _Skott_

Spock cleared his throat, looking again to the statue. “We will keep it.”

“Yes, because he’s right.” Kirk leaned forward, brushing the figures with his fingertips and then rose and turned to Spock, his hand outstretched.

Without a word, Spock stood and, taking Kirk's hand, followed him into the bedroom.

 

Finis


End file.
